Super Mario: The ‘More Likely’ Untold Story

mario gets high

Y’know, this kind of makes you think. Is the Mushroom Kingdom really how we, the players, perceive it? After all, we see the world through Mario’s eyes, and he partakes in a TON of mushroom grabbing, flower touching and other weird shit. I mean the guy can destroy blocks with his HEAD. That doesn’t sound like the actions of a sober person. Rather, that sounds like the actions of someone totally cracked out on something, like that IRL zombie who was doped up on bath salts. Kind of related, kind of not. Point is Mario is on some good (or bad) fucking shit and zombies do exist.

…I’m confused.


  1. It’s worth noting that he doesn’t break blocks with his head, he does it with his fist. So yeah, he’s totally tweaking out and punching rocks.

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