You know it’s bad when you start dreaming about finding videogames at garage sales.
Last Thursday I dreamt I was scoping out some g-sales with the family. We came across a house selling a few older consoles, and among them were a Sega Genesis and an Xbox. Seeing as I don’t have enough consoles already (COOOOUGH) I came to the tough conclusion that I needed to bring one home. Cool, except I completely fail-whale’d and bought the Xbox.
Let me tell you, I immediately regretted my decision. Seeing as I already have two of those big ass black machines at home, but only one Sega Genesis, it was a horrible choice. To top it off, I had NEVER seen a Sega Genesis at a garage sale before. It was like an uber-suck passed opportunity. Boo.
When I woke up I couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment, and I was determined to make up for that massive let down. So, while scouring some garage sales with my grandma a few hours later, I saw a box. Not just any box, mind you– inside this box was a mudda fuckin’ Sega Genesis for sale!!! Amazing, right?
While that was a great find, there are a few other things—specifically games— I would give my left ovary to find at a garage sale (and maybe my first born child) like Chrono Trigger, Harvest Moon (SNES) and Earthbound. Seriously guys, I have had numerous dreams about finding those bad boys. It’s sick.
Last night I had another dream where I was at a garage sale with my dad (this is getting ridiculous) and in it I stumbled across several boxes full of game guides and miscellaneous game-related books. Some of them were titled Nintendology and The Game Collector’s Guide. Fan-fucking-tastic, amirite? But it was next to the boxes where I saw the epitome of a wet dream. Lying on top of a box in all of its grey-cartridge glory was Earthbound. FOR A DOLLAR. A single ray of sunshine glistened down and angels belted out in an enchanting choir.
Okay, so I immediately freaked out and said, “This HAS to be a dream!” but my grandmother–who apparently decided to make a cameo in this dream–appeared out of thin air and assured me it was reality.
Knowing full well my Grandma never lies (minus the first ten years of my life when she told me Santa Clause was a real dude) I actively sought out the owner of this garage sale and shoved a dollar in their face. And with that, EARTHBOUND WAS MIIIINE!!!! ::cue maniacal laugher::
As I held the game in my hands, something suddenly didn’t feel quite right. I took a double take at the cartridge sticker.
It read “Earthbounded”.
And just like that, the single ray of glistening sun turned into a dark, murky cloud of yuk and the angels began shrieking terrible death metal.
Ladies and gentlemen, right then and there I knew it was a dream.
BUT I’m trying to find a silver lining in this massive boner kill: Since I dreamed last week about finding a Genesis the night before I actually FOUND a Genesis, maaaaybe I’ll find a copy of Earthbound tomorrow!!!
RIGHT? You with me?!