Resident Evil 5 Log #2: Well That Was FUN!

::marks Resident Evil 5 off of “Games Completed” list::

…wait, what?

Yep, that is correct. I managed to finish Resident Evil 5 without making more than two entries for it! Go me and my dedication to this game log! ;) But for serious, this was one of those games I co-op’d through so it was rather difficult to keep a log going. Plus, I played a lot in Mexico and I sorta-kinda caught my own version of Las Plagas while I was there, which put me down for the count.

Now that the excuses are over…

What is there to say about RE5? Story-wise I found it significant that Tricell (the guys funding the BSAA)  had taken over an underground Umbrella facility and continued their research. Those bastards. Other points of interest:

  • Jill looks good as a blonde, but she really needs to get a spray tan or something. She looks like that girl on the cover of Parasite Eve. (I really need to play that game.) Also, she and Chris are totally boinking.
  • Wesker is SO not dead. I don’t care if he was while shot in the face by two rocket launchers while drowning in a pool of lava. He’s still not dead. That red-eyed bastard never dies.
  • I liked Sheva, but I would like to see her thrown in more situations and see her develop as a character. Like onions, man–peel those layers back. What I’m saying is that she should be in Resident Evil 6.
  • I need to find all of the documents available in RE5 and nerd out over them. I noticed a lot of them have information dating back to the creation of the T and G viruses and that makes me very giddy. There’s probably some juicy stuff in there.
  • My co-op partner and I had WAY too much fun with the voice commands. Capcom could probably make a game based off of those alone. “COME ON!”
  • WHY can’t we ever be rewarded with an epic prologue for Resident Evil titles? I swear. “OHAI! You’ve spent many ‘a hour playing our game, getting frustrated, etc., so here’s a 30 second ending cut scene! CONGRATS!”
  • Chris Redfield is on steroids.
I know you're alive, you bastard.

Now, a rant:

Let me set up the situation for you: I’m packing a full load (meaning all of my inventory slots are filled) and I come across a box of machine gun ammo sitting on a table. And you know what? I need that machine gun ammo. Not only because I’m completely out of rounds for my MP5A5, but because I’m a crazy motherfucker who likes to spray some shit. So I go to pick up said machine gun ammo.

However, I am quickly cockblocked; I can’t pick up the box of ammo. Because I’m carrying a full load and my slots are full.

Okay. Upon first glance this situation makes sense. I mean, it’s a videogame. My slots are full. I can’t hold ammo.

But. And this is a big “but”–WHY CAN’T THERE BE A PROMPT TO TAKE THE ROUNDS AND DIRECTLY PUT THEM INTO MY MP5A5?! Like, you know, open up that stupid box of ammo and directly insert the 30 rounds into my machine gun. YOU KNOW, the thing people do IN REAL LIFE. BAAAAAAAH.



And with that, Resident Evil 5 is finished. Now I will wait until Resident Evil 6 launches. With soggy undergarments, that is, because holy HELL that game looks promising!!!


  1. I’m going to comment on each of your points, because I can! :D

    1 – YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED PARASITE EVE?!?! You must do this NAO! I’m about to replay it! Also, did you happen to get that email pic I sent? :P

    2 – I kinda hope Wesker IS dead. Instead of being badass, he became a caricature quite quickly.

    3 – I liked Sheva, too, but I also like the idea of leaving her be. She served her purpose. They have too many recurring characters as it is.

    4 – I don’t remember a lot of the documents, but I don’t remember there being a whole lot of “juice”… but I’m picky. :P

    5 – Will RE6 have those, only with Kinect support?! GIMME SOME AMMO!

    6 – Go back and watch every ending for the series main games. It’s you in an escape vehicle, riding away.

    Every. Single. One.

    The best one was the ending of RE2 after the 2nd playthrough. That train escape was pretty sweet, plus the credits song rocks so hard.

    7 – Chris has raisin balls.

    I share your rant, so I have nothing to elaborate on that. I just played the game enough to be able to buy all the coolest stuff and essentially cheat through it from here on out. Pretty simple stuff.

    Wish you had more of a log on this, but oh well. My DA: Origins log is coming along just as well… as in, it’s not. :P But I’m planning to change that soon. :)

    • 1. I KNOW I SUCK.
      2. I feel like if they’re going to kill Wesker off, each character needs to take part in it. Like a kill-orgy. They deserve it!
      3. This is true, but I’m getting sick of Leon and Chris. WHERE’S CLAIRE AND CARLOS?!!?
      5. …OMG. That would be hilarious. Bahaha…oh, the possibilities…
      6. Yes. LAME.
      7. He probably does. Which is kind of makes me disappoint.

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