If RPG Video Game Characters Were Honest

Well this pretty much hits every fucking nail on the head, doesn’t it?

Here I am, thinking I’m this friggen’ saint in RPG games. I mean, I am kind, as I genuinely care about what happens to my party members and all that mushy shit. But with that said I’m kind of the biggest asshole. Like, “Excuse me while I equip myself and ONLY myself with the best gear; enjoy my hand-me-downs.”

Or, “HEY! I know the world is about to end and all that, but this villager three houses down is missing his cat, sooo, y’know. Priorities.”

“I only have you in my party so I can 100% the game. You will never, ever adventure with me.”

“You remind me too much of an ex-boyfriend, so I will never dress you in appropriate garb. Enjoy that cloth linen shirt for the rest of your stupid life.”



  1. Yep this captures RPG’s from like a bunch angles, I remember naming a character Fatty McButterpants just cause he was fat, I was an 8 year old lol. (although it was in Wave Race 64) It’s true just like in real life sometimes, people are used in RPG’s just to 100 percent a game, we all have our favorites and we throw the others to the curb gotta love the reality of RPG’s.

  2. Thanks so much for the re-post! We had a blast putting this one together and can’t wait to bring part 2 (among other things… many, many things). You rock, Britt! We’ve followed you since your Zaxy days! If you’re ever in LA and wanna play some D&D, just give us a call!

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