Always Use Protection

pokemon

If this ever happened to me I would probably marry whoever or whatever it was that pulled this stunt. First of all, owning a HOLOGRAPHIC (too bad it ain’t first edition) Charizard makes almost anyone¬†marriage material. Second, keeping the card in one’s pants at all time definitely makes a person marriage material. AND THE FACT THAT HOMEBOY WOULD PULL IT IT OUT WHEN I ASKED FOR PROTECTION WOULD FORCE ME TO PROPOSE RIGHT THEN AND THERE. Seriously, with a Charizard on your nightstand NO ONE or NOTHING can ever harm you.

Why do you think I caught E. Coli and was hospitalized in Mexico? I didn’t bring my Charizard card.

e coli
Those aren’t any horns I’m throwing up. THOSE ARE CHARIZARD HORNS.

19 Comments

  1. Haha, damn, I totally should have kept mine.

    I actually got one in the very first pack of Pokemon cards I ever bought. I didn’t even know it was a thing at first, but when I found out that it was pretty rare I became the envy of all my friends. I eventually traded it for a copy of Resident Evil and Dino Crisis (this was back when they were relatively new games, so the card was worth about the amount it would cost to walk into the store and buy those games), so while I’m glad it introduced me to one of my favorite game series of all time, sometimes I still wonder how much it’d be worth today if I had kept it (I’ve always been too afraid to look it up, though I’ve now learned from this blog post that it is priceless).

    • ARE YOU SERIOUS. But it sounds like an awesome trade — but damn, son. On your first pack?! You are the chosen one.

      • Yep. I was such a rookie when I first opened it, just thinking “HEY, A SHINY CHARIZARD!” But then I looked in one of those trading card magazines my friend had and saw that it was like one of the rarest cards you could get outside of the promo cards, and I then realized that it was probably the luckiest moment of my entire life.

        So far it still stands.

    • HAHA! That’s a great one too! And yeah, it was my first time to Mexico and I ordered things with ice cubes. Fail.

  2. well… you know what they say; “you can drink the water just don’t eat the ice”

    sincerely,

    Chocahobo

  3. So for the past few weeks I have had my Charizard card on my bedside table just to keep me generally safe. Recently there was a person of the female variety in my room and only after we were done activities did I remember I still had it on the bedside table. Watching over me :)

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