Portal 2 Log #5: FINALLY!

I FINALLY FINISHED PORTAL 2!!!!

Man. Oh. Man. That took way longer than expected, didn’t it? Wooooow.

Thankfully I had a lot of NOTHING to do today, so I decided to plop down with the good ol’ PS3 controller with Portal 2 at my side. Actually, Portal 2 was in my PS3 and on my television, but you get it. Anyway, the first few puzzles I did on my own, but after that it became clear to me that I would need some assistance, for my brain was not in the mood to think and I was too damn lazy to force it to. So I pulled out my laptop, plopped it in front of me and used a YouTube video for assistance every time the solution to a puzzle wasn’t obvious.

AND IT WORKED.

Now, this is going to sound really dumb considering I’m writing about a PORTAL game, but holy hell there were waaaaaay too many puzzles! Yes, I get it—it’s a game where you must strategically find your way out of testing chambers utilizing nothing more than  a gun that shoots portals out of it–so uhhh I should have expected many a’ puzzles. Hey, guess what? I’m not the hugest fan of puzzle games.

That being said, I liked the free-roam “puzzles” more than the actual testing chambers (probably because they were easy and didn’t require me to think as much). I also enjoyed the environment of Portal 2. It’s packed to the effin’ brim with details, and I can’t begin to tell you how much fun I had wandering around the abandoned offices scoping out every room, portrait, sign, etc.

I think my interest was also held because Portal 2 had more story; we learned a lot about the early years of Aperture Science and the people behind it. Something I was expecting–that didn’t happen–was the confirmation that Chell was Carolyn’s daughter. I mean, there’s evidence she is, but I don’t give enough of a shit to read through all of it. I’m assuming it will all be confirmed in Portal 3. CALLING IT NOW.

Also, Wheatley is a douche-core. He used me like a cheap hooker. I thought he was sincere about his feelings towards me, but every word he spoke was empty, his emotions were null. My heart is broken.

Ahem.

Did I enjoy the game? For the most part, yes. When I was in my Portal “moods” on certain nights I breezed by most of the puzzles and made significant process. But when I wasn’t (which ended up being 75% of time time) it was like pulling teeth. Had I gone into Portal knowing that it was a billion times longer than the original, however, I probably would have appreciated it more instead of bitching about how looooong it was.

BEE-TEE-DUB, many of you have told me that you finished this game in one sitting. ONE. SITTING. How the EFF do you do that without your brain melting?

But now I will leave you with, by far, the best part of Portal 2.