Alright friends, we’re officially on the eve of a potentially Jabu-Jabu sized Nintendo Direct. Tomorrow at 7am PT we’re getting a 50 minute Nintendo Direct followed by a 95 minute Nintendo Treehouse.
DEEP. BREATHS.
Okay, so, rumors of this remake have been heating up like a pissed off Dodongo for MONTHS now. I’ve been a little hesitant to *~believe~* because, honestly, I’ve gone through umpteen years of NOT getting a remake and maybe, juuuuust maybe, my self-sabotaging hype train has let me down too many times. (Maybe.) But today? The energy from my incredible time at Summer Game Fest FLOWS THROUGH MY VEINS. I AM FUELED. I AM HYPED. (I am also quietly typing this in an Alaska Airlines lounge.) Friends, I’m letting myself believe. I AM GIVING MYSELF TO YOU, OCARINA OF TIME GODS AKA NINTENDO please be gentle with my emotions.
Dude, I can’t even wrap my head around it. You mean after HOW MANY YEARS – the ONE game I’ve always tossed into prediction rings, the ONE game I’ve championed for, the ONE game I’ve literally sobbed over while watching fan remake renditions – might actually get announced tomorrow? I mean, this is the THING. The game I’ve daydreamed about. The one I’ve talked about for countless minutes on various platforms over the years.
I know EXACTLY how I want it to be announced.
Picture this: a black screen slowly materializes into a grassy field. You hear the calming, ambient noise of birds chirping, insects making whatever noises insects make, the soft whisper of a gentle breeze flowing through tall blades of grass. Then, fading in, comes the sound of hooves galloping before they quickly race by you. Then – AND THIS IS THE HYPEST FUCKING PART – THE OPENING JINGLE BEGINS. AND THE MUSIC CONTINUES. AND THEN I EXPLODE INTO HUMAN BODILY MIST.
Fuuuuuck even thinking about this makes me tear up.
Deep breaths.
The big question, though, is what does Ocarina of Time look like in 2026? More specifically, what does Nintendo’s vision of Ocarina of Time look like in 2026? How closely will it resemble the original? (I sure freakin’ hope it’s not a 1:1.) Will the core game be expanded upon with additional narrative, characters, side activities and puzzles? To what extent will the dungeons and temples be modified? How modernized will it feel? We all have our idea of what a “proper” remake looks like, but whether or not Nintendo meets some, or any, of those expectations remains to be seen – and it’s that unknown that has me the most excited/anxious/nervous/screaming/squelching. I mean I’m gonna be doing some serious puckering over the next 12 hours.
And if a remake isn’t announced, well, I have no one to blame but me, myself and I. Let’s keep it SO REAL we literally have ZERO CONFIRMATION from Nintendo that this is actually happening LOLOLOLOLOLLOLLLLLL duuuude I’m gonna fall into a deep dark depression if this shit ain’t real. But hey – if a remake IS announced and I seemingly disappear and all signs of life are just like gone there’s a high likelihood I imploded so tightly into my butthole that I became a black hole and I’m sorry but that means the end is imminent.
Here’s to hoping!!!
