Halo: Combat Evolved Log #2: Cap’n Keyes’ Head is a Butt.

Bring out the confetti, folks! For the first time in my entire 23 year existence I have finished a Halo game!


I think Halo: CE is the most enjoyable FPS I’ve played EVAR. It’s different than most (if not all!) super serial realistic military FPS and I think I’m able to enjoy it more because of that. It’s kind of a funny game; you have the pansy-ass grunts running around like madmen when the elites aren’t around, you have the interaction between Cortana and Master Chief and, then, you have Captain Keyes’ odd-ass Flood form in which his face is his asshole. That’s always funny.

Speaking of, I found the most interesting twist was The Flood itself. After all, you know me and my obsession with parasitic infestations. Also, the Combat forms reminded me of  the lovechild between the Tyrant and a necromorph. But mostly a necromorph.

Looks like there might also be some Las Plagas goin' on as well...

I’m not sure how The Flood were released, other than by the Covenant, or what their purpose was (other than to, you know, infect all living things with their nastiness) but I hope they play more of a role in the following Halo titles. It would make sense—after all, Halo was designed to destroy  all “sentient” life in the galaxy (which The Flood needs to ah-ah-ah-ah stay alive, stay alive, ah-ah-ah-ah…) aaaand we sorta-kinda destroyed Halo. Sooo…yeah.

And now that I have finished Halo: Combat Evolved (for those of you asking, I was playing the original, not the anniversary edition) I will venture to Wikipedia in an attempt to understand WTF I just did; what planet I saved, what people I destroyed, etc.

…reading Wiki…

…reading Wiki…

…reading Wiki…

Oh. Well that’s interesting.

I just read a bunch of back story (I already had an idea of what happens on Reach…) and for a split second the entire story leading up to Halo: CE made perfect sense in my head, but now I lost it. This must mean I will have to play the other Halo games in order to understand. And by “understand” I mean I will play the game and then study Wikipedia as I just did with Halo: CE.

I must admit, I’m VERY excited to start up Halo 2. Halo’s story–so far, at least–is far more interesting and has more depth than I ever imagined it would.

On a final note…343 Guilty Spark is totally Wheatley’s cousin.

343 Guilty Spark...any relation to 343 Industries? THERE MUST BE!

Wheatley…you bastard…I’ll never forget what you did to me! Enjoy space, you bastard!!! ::shakes fist::


    • I disagree. Stop now. The story gets too lost with its 18 novels and DVDs and comics, but none of the good stuff goes into the games. Read “The Fall of Reach” and then give it up.

  1. I’ve never read any gaming books before but I have most of the Halo books and comics from when I had one of those buy everything in sight moments, which I wanna get into since the Halo story is great! Hope you enjoy Halo 2, I personally didn’t like it very much, especially compared to the other Halo games.

    • The HALO story definitely has potential, and The Fall of Reach book really did a great job of making me care about the SPARTANs. The games, however, fail miserably at this. It’s disappointing, to say the least. I own a copy of HALO: Anniversary, but it’s still in the shrinkwrap. Maybe I’ll just sell off Halo 3 and Halo: Reach and keep Anniversary, as it’s still my favorite of the series.

      Short version: Transmedia is stupid. Keep it in the games and make it work.

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