Grand Theft Auto 5 Is Now A FPS. Or Something.

So, this is an optional way of playing Grand Theft Auto V’s re-release when it launches on November 18th for Xbox One and PS4. (PC gets it January 27th.) Not. Fucking. Shabby.

If you want details and all of the nitty-gritty, head over to IGN. They have what you need. Me? I’m here to offer what I always do; a few sentences of personal background history in relation to specific subject matter.

Ahem. About seven or eight months ago I sorta-kinda woke up in the middle of the night to find myself stretching. Y’know, it was one of those instances when you know you’re half asleep, but the memory of even being awake is typically wiped from memory as you fall asleep immediately after? Yeaaaah. Anyway, my memory of waking up and stretching would have probably vanished from my mind had I not intensely tweaked a muscle in my neck and back. And I mean I tweaked ’em to the point that I could not get out of bed without assistance the next day. I laid in bed and cried off and on throughout the day because it hurt that bad. Thankfully someone came over and, well, took care of me, but again, I was literally bed-ridden.

Like, who does that? Who takes something innocent like a midnight stretch and turns it into an incapacitating nightmare? Anyway, the only thing I could do was game. GTA V had been out for a few months, it sounded like a kickass game, and hey, I had nothing better to do. Unfortunately the download took six hours and by the time it had completed downloading I was so doped up on Vicodin I didn’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. I think I played two hours. I *think* but I don’t really remember.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my history with GTA V. Carry on.

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