If there’s one thing I know very well, dear reader, it’s the Yakuza/Like a Dragon video game series. I’d love nothing more than to sit down with you (yes, you) and have a deep discussion about golden boy Kiryu and how he’s not only shaped me as a person, but has influenced how I view the world and its inhabitants. Not only that; I can, in vivid detail, describe to a deadly accuracy juuuust how low Majima’s iconic leather pants sit on his hips. Wait, WHERE ARE YOU GOING —

But seriously, Like a Dragon is my most treasured video game franchise, and it ain’t even close at this point in my life. So when Prime Video’s Like a Dragon: Yakuza popped into my inbox late last week you know, oooh you know, I was like a moth to flame, like Majima to sewers. I’ve now seen all six episodes of this live action series and I’m freakin’ THRILLED and honored to tell you about some of my biggest takeaways – spoiler free, of course.

Like a Dragon: Yakuza is not a 1:1 retelling of Yakuza 1/Kiwami, and honestly, I don’t know why any reasonable human would want such a thing. (I’m tempted to make a strong stand and die on this hill, but in the consideration of my and YOUR time, I’ll hold myself back.) So check your expectations at the Kamurochō Gate, yeah? This is a retelling of Yakuza 1.

Think of it like this: With Like a Dragon: Yakuza, it’s like we’re getting a glimpse into an alternate universe and, dammit I’m sorry, I just think THAT IS SO COOL. When else will we, as fans, get to see a world where Yumi steals the narrative spotlight? When else can we get to know Nishiki’s little sister? (I’m not crying.) And – throwing this out there – what if Nishiki actually LEARNED TO COMMUNICATE YOU BITCH, JESUS DUDE GO TO THERAPY AND WORK ON YOUR KYODAI-SHIP WITH KIRYU. (Whoops, I have feelings!) These changes – from the most subtle nods to the HUUUUGE narrative changearooni whoppers – kept me on my toes, always looking for tie-ins to the game while wondering how, if or when the show would spruce up some of the most iconic Yakuza moments. (Speaking of: have you SEEN the Millennium Tower? It’s ridiculous! I have so many questions!)

The story jumps around constantly between 1995 and 2005 and, despite the very much appreciated date labels, there were several moments when I had to pause, scrub back (it kills me not to say “rewind” anymore) and rewatch a scene because your girl needed to get her bearings. The dynamics between characters and their allegiances wildly vary between the two time periods, and let’s be honest, there’s a LOT of Yakuza *stuff* to squeeze into six episodes. Thus the series moves FAST, and sometimes it’s a little TOO easy to miss important details. I still have so many narrative questions, but I’m not quite sure if this is a “Wait until (hopefully!) the next season to find out the answers to your most burning questions” or if it’s a “Ehhh we didn’t care enough to expand on that.”

For what it’s worth it helped tremendously that I mostly knew what was happening thanks to my experience with the game. On the flip side, this is probably why the ending “twist” fell flat for me as I was able to see it coming from a mile away, and, god, I WISH that final scene left us with a bit more to gnaw on. But thankfully, even if an event is predictable, it sure as hell doesn’t always fall flat. I could list multiple examples, but Nishiki’s arc in particular packed SUCH a larger emotional gut punch in this series than it did in the game.

Giving credit where it’s due, there was plenty of new narrative stuff to keep me guessing and spewing out those constant annoying predictions my husband loves me for. For starters *insert Price is Right hand gestures here* you can look forward to our newest serial killer, the Devil of Shinjuku, while also getting to know Yumi’s REAL-LIFE SISTER Aiko, all while solving the mystery of the missing 10 billion yen and ITS new wrinkle.

And SHEESH quick shout-out to those EASTER EGGS, god, some of them are just SO good. There were several that had me squealing, and I’ll have to watch the series again as I’m sure some slipped past, BUT: one in particular had my jaw on the floor. The symbolism, the music, the *EVERYTHING* – I sorta(?) wish you could have heard the shriek that came out of my body. Then again, maybe not…I looked like a madwoman, frantically pointing and babbling to no one but myself.

Easter eggs are great, but at the end of the day these can only do so much to translate that beloved, iconic tone of the Yakuza games to TV. And if you’ve played a Yakuza game, you know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s the wacky with the serious. It’s the whimsical with the predictable. One moment you’re tracking a violent murderer, and the next you’re baiting a panty thief. A long-standing joke among Yakuza fans is to say “Yakuza is a serious crime drama” and then insert a screenshot from the games like this:

First and foremost: I gotta give ALL the props to Munetaka Aoki, who literally is the perfect Majima. Like, dude is *chef’s kiss*. From his facial mannerisms to his cocky, confident body language to the high pitched giggles and sounds he’s simply excellent. He brings that levity to the series that – for the most part – it lacks. For the first time, friends, I think we can actually say “Yakuza is a serious crime drama” and truly mean it. There are some moments of light-hearted shenaniganry, sure, but when Aoki is on screen it feels like home.

That aside (I still wish they would’ve stuffed Majima in a cone at LEAST once) all of the staples are here, making Like a Dragon: Yakuza feel like it’s worthy of its name. We have egotistical, arrogant yakuza, gut wrenching betrayal, turf wars, ~dramaaaa~ between families and friends, all set among the neon lit streets of Kamurochō and, of course, there’s only one man who can hopefully maybe sorta kinda fix all of it: Kiryu Kazuma.

Ryoma Takeuchi had to have had the toughest role on the planet. How does a mere mortal embody a man that defies human logic? Okay, yessss, I’m being dramatic, but the point is Ryoma had an insurmountable task ahead of him, yet I feel like he successfully accomplished what he needed to do. He plays Kiryu with a sense of determination, confidence, compassion and spirit. Watching him physically beat down a horde of goons and then verbally finish them off with some sort of witty and cheesy one liner was peak entertainment. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.

Like a Dragon: Yakuza is having A MOMENT right now. We were recently #hashtagblessed with 2024 GOTY contender Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth, we’re still coming down from the HYPE ANNOUNCEMENT that was Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii (what in the Kingdom Hearts is that title LOL) and NOW we have the Yakuza: Like a Dragon series coming to Prime Video. AND IT FEELS SO GOOD. It may not be the best video game adaptation I’ve ever seen, but it sure as shit entertained me from start to finish, and I feel so dang thankful that this franchise is getting the attention and opportunities it deserves. We are snarfing, my dear friends, and I hope you enjoy the show as much as I did.

The post Like a Dragon: Yakuza Series Review first appeared on A video game blog and other shenanigans | Blondenerd.com.

☹

To quote one of my husbands Majima – that’s a kick in the dick.

If the headline isn’t obvious enough, last week 343 announced  Halo Infinite won’t feature campaign co-op or Forge at launch. Those modes are still coming, mind you – just not until next year, as part of Halo Infinite’s roadmap.

Jddkkafjld;ifajkl;

343’s Joseph Staten said this was a “really though decision” and the TLDR is that these modes just aren’t ready, they aren’t stable, they’re not where they need to be. Specifically regarding campaign co-op, it sounds like 343 is a little on the struggle bus when it comes to the nonlinear experience and the technology required to make that experience run smooth like a baby grunt’s ass. Games are hard, people.

“We have the opportunity to play campaign all the time. It’s this wonderful, wide open, nonlinear take on a Halo campaign, and it’s going to offer so much more flexibility to take down Banished bases from all kinds of different angles, to progress through the game in your own way to a certain extent. At the same time though, that’s complicated when you think about save systems and all the technology that needs to drive this more nonlinear experience. So, in a co-op scenario that’s even more complicated. And that’s another reason why it’s going to take longer, just to make sure it’s quality day-one, and people can jump in and play and have fun.”

But, man. MAN. This just…this just really, really sucks. But I want to be clear: as unfortunate as this is, I’d rather see these modes delayed than see the folks at 343 working under unhealthy and harmful work conditions, no question about that. Doesn’t mean it stings any less, though. In a perfect world, Halo Infinite would just be delayed again – but going down that hypothetical timeline opens up a whole ‘nother can of worms.

So I now find myself in a little bit of a pickle. (Granted, in the grand scheme of things it’s the most trivial pickle of all, but nonetheless, it’s a pickle.)(Mmm, pickles.)(Also, for the record since we’re on the topic: fuck sweet pickles.)

I guess I can’t overstate how important experiencing Halo Infinite’s campaign cooperatively is to me. Since the beginning of our relationship, so for about 10 years now, Jayson and I have played through the Halo series several different times and the memories we’ve made are priceless – like when we tried our damndest to squeeze a Ghost through a narrow corridor by smacking it for over 20 minutes, or when we took edibles and came up with an entire new, alternative narrative for Halo 3. (Remind me to tell you about “Mastress Chief” someday.)

At the end of the day, we’ve lived and relived the journey of Master Chief and Cortana SO many times side by side that it’s almost unfathomable to even consider going through Halo Infinite’s journey without experiencing it together.

But at the end of the day, we’re going to have to make that decision: Do we wait until campaign co-op is patched in, or do we pass the controller back and forth?

There’s another layer of complexity to this issue: my job. I often have the honor of reviewing games prior to their release – and it goes without saying that Halo Infinite is a HOT HOT HOT title. I dunno, I feel like I’d be “bad” at my job if I selfishly choose not to cover Halo Infinite at launch for my personal reasons.

BUT as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I counter myself with, “Hey, video games are supposed to be fun and you’re supposed to enjoy your time with them, if you need to wait, wait.”

BUT THEN I’M WORRIED ABOUT SPOILERS LEAKING ON THE TIMELINE WHILE I WAIT

Ahhhhh.

Anyway, like I said above, it’s trivial, but I really, really don’t know what I’m going to do here. What about you? Has this development impacted the way you’re going to play and experience Halo Infinite? Let me know!

The post Halo Infinite’s Campaign Co-Op and Forge Delayed: NOOOOO first appeared on A video game blog and other shenanigans | Blondenerd.com.

“Kiss your uninterrupted cutscenes goodbye!”

“Good luck finishing even the shortest of games in a reasonable timeframe!”

…OKAY OKAY. Y’all were right.

There I was in early May 2021, a naïve, very pregnant woman, reading and believing these bullshit lies about newborns sleeping 15-17 hours a day. Meanwhile, the internet was telling me I was about to lose my ability to play video games, or at the very least, lose my ability to play for any stretch of time.

“How can that be?” I foolishly asked myself. “If a baby sleeps that often, shouldn’t I be able to get several hours in a day?”

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Again, y’all were right.

Not that I haven’t been able to make it work, mind you. I’ve been able to finish two video games from start to finish since having this kid in late May, The Great Ace Attorney Adventures and Twelve Minutes, AND a piece of DLC, Sea of Thieves: A Pirate’s Life. I gotta admit I’m impressed I was even able to make THAT happen, but I give thanks to a semi-predictable bedtime routine in the evening and what I like to call the “Ultimate Baby Station” that exists next to me on the couch during the day.

Seriously, that baby station has been a lifesaver. Every morning I go through the checklist in my head: Does he have a clean diaper? Check. Do I have a bottle at the ready? Check. Pacifier, toys, burp rags? Check, check, check. Water for me? CHECK. Then I plop his ass on my lap and he chills/sleeps while I get some much-needed gaming in during the day. Come nighttime, thanks to that predictable-ish bedtime I mentioned, I generally have three hours to myself which is oh LAWD so lovely.

I’m currently juggling a few different games right now, some I can talk about, some I can’t, but what I’m learning is that very few games aren’t, shall we say, optimized for playing with a child who needs 24/7 attention. Ace Attorney was *fantastic* in the sense it could be paused at any time and there’s an “Autoplay” option that allowed me to do literally nothing as the game unfolded in front of me. But two other games I’ve been playing co-operatively – one is The Ascent and the other is <redacted> – don’t allow Jayson or I to pause the game. Like, we can both press the pause button, but the game keeps on chuggin’ in the background. Come to think of it, we ran into a similar issue while playing Sea of Thieves! (The Child wanted to eat while we were sailing, and we had the misfortune of running into a gaggle of players who wanted nothing but death and destruction.) We’ve also been playing Pokémon Unite, which is obviously the WORST possible game to play with a newborn – online play and interruptions don’t mix.

Before having a kid I never quite appreciated how incredibly helpful and useful pause buttons were. I mean sure, it was nice to be able to pause when getting a snack or some *ahem* whiskey, but I never truly cherished of the functionality of a pause button. So here’s a GINORMOUS shout-out to every dev studio who implements the following:

• Cutscenes that can be paused and resumed
• The ability for an online game to pause when all players agree to do so
• Autoplay features, primarily scrolling text and continuous dialogue

THIS IS MY LIFE NOW. I AM PRAISING PAUSE FUNCTIONALITIES.

So yeah, I’m in an interesting position now that I gotta think about games logistically before I choose to play them. Like, “Is this online only? Will I be penalized if I suddenly have to walk away?” (I’m looking at you, Pokémon Unite!)

It really makes me appreciate that I’ve never had to worry about this before, especially when I think about my friends who navigate games with disabilities in mind.

I can’t help but wonder how the HELL I’m gonna get through some of the beefier games that are around the corner, like Lost Judgment. HNGHHH. It might take me ten years to finish it, but that’s just fine. (The truth is I’m low-key freaking out.)

Anyway, if you have a spawn of your own I’d love to hear how you’ve made your gaming sessions go down. Do you trade off with your partner? Do you find time to play when the kid is asleep? Let’s trade war stories!

<3

The post Gaming With A Newborn Is HARD: Praise Be The Pause Button first appeared on A video game blog and other shenanigans | Blondenerd.com.

BUT ENOUGH THE ANCIENT YEARS

Twelve Minutes follows a man – that’s you – who is stuck in a twelve minute time loop. After walking through his front door and settling in from (I’m assuming) a day at work, he’s greeted by his wife who is attempting to set the stage for a romantic evening. It’s all sunshine and rainbows for a hot minute BUT too much of that wouldn’t make for a good story, now would it? So along comes this sketchy-ass detective who not only accuses your waifu of murdering someone, but beats the shit out of you when you attempt to intervene.

…And, boom, there you are again, walking through your front door to your greeting wife, doing her darndest to set up that romantic evening, oblivious to the events that are about to transpire. Can you convince her what’s about to happen? Can you protect her? …Should you protect her?

It’s a fascinating premise, isn’t it? And one that lends itself to the point-and-click adventure genre incredibly well. You have a lil’ cursor that you move around the screen not only to move and navigate, but also to interact with items. Some things you’ll add to your inventory, some things will let you perform an action, some things will give you vital information and other things exist just…because. (Shout-out to the toilet.)

But I’ll be honest, at first I was a bit worried about Twelve Minutes. Within my first time loop I noticed the character animations could be a bit clunky and robot-ish, and at one point the sketchy-ass detective was stuck in a very non intimidating animation of bumping into the couch. A few times the dialogue got in the way of itself and different lines would be delivered simultaneously. A few times the item menu would bug out.

But as soon as I got into a groove, none of that mattered.

As soon as I realized what Twelve Minutes was capable of I was HOOKED.

Twelve Minutes is SO SMART in the sense that it seems like every little action you take has an appropriate reaction – as if the solo developer (!) Luis Antonio thought of AAAALLL of the different ways players could manipulate the environment. Some spoiler-free examples:

• I thought I was simply doin’ my Britt thang of hoarding items by picking up glassware in the apartment, but this simple action can have major repercussions depending on how many you pick up and when you pick them up.
• At one point I started eating dessert without my wife and she called me out. And, uh, got really pissed and wouldn’t talk to me. I pissed her off a lot in my playtime, actually.

I kept a running note on my phone of all of the different scenarios I tried. Whenever I would get an idea, like, “Hey next time I’ll try putting X item over on Y before my wife gets to Z and let’s see if that gets me the result I’m looking for.” You really can play around with this environment. And if you want to, you can intentionally fuck up just to see what will happen.

More about the loops themselves: So let’s say you’ve gone through a loop and perhaps you discovered some new, important information about…y’know, the lighthearted accusation being thrown around about your wife being a murderer. But let’s say you royally piss off your wife and she storms off, and now you’re up Shit Creek without a paddle – you can’t talk to her anymore. SHE LEFT YOUR ASS.

Well good job, friend, ya done fucked up. But you don’t have to wait for the loop to continue playing out – you can waltz right back through your front door to reset the loop. The fun twist here is that the main character retains all knowledge learned from previous loops. This means you won’t have to go through all of the grunt work every time you start over a loop. Granted, at times you will need to repeat a few sentences here and there, but there’s a handy fast forward option at your disposal.

There were only a few times when I felt like I was really, truly stuck while playing Twelve Minutes, which should be music to the ears of anyone who lacks familiarity with adventure games such as yours truly. It’s also worth noting that there is NO hint system in Twelve Minutes. The characters will sometimes babble an obscure hint in passing dialogue, but that’s as much help as you’re getting from the game.

During the few occasions when I was stumped I never wanted to give up. One night I went to bed stuck on a puzzle, and while feeding my kid at 4am – EUREKA – I came up with the solution. I want to emphasize that I never felt overwhelmed with options and possible solutions. Y’know when you’re playing an adventure game and you have, like, a million things in your inventory and you don’t even know where to begin? You won’t have to worry about that here.

Also worth noting, and this is a tricky thing to balance in this type of game: there were a few moments when I became frustrated because I felt like there was just no common sense between the characters. I mean, if I knew Mr. Sketchy-Pants McDetectiveson was going to be pounding on my door in five minutes, you best believe I’d have a fucking cavalry waiting for him by the time he showed up. But we can only play with the cards we’ve been dealt, and when you do figure out the solution the game is demanding it’s a fun lil’ rush.

Of course I couldn’t write this without giving THE MOST SERIOUS OF PROPS to the voice cast: Willem Dafoe, Daisy Ridley and James McAvoy. Their performances are *chef’s kiss* and truly bring these characters to life, a task not entirely easy considering we only get minor glimpses of character faces and facial expressions due to that top-down view.

I mean, I could go on and on about Twelve Minutes and the seven or so hours I spent with it, I really could. But at the end of the day I think this is a great video game that features an incredible twist on the adventure genre. The story will ABSOLUTELY GO PLACES, and in my opinion should keep you more than hooked, but I refuse to say more than that. You should find out for yourself when it comes to Xbox (INCLUDING Xbox Game Pass) and PC on August 19th. 😊

The post Twelve Minutes Review first appeared on A video game blog and other shenanigans | Blondenerd.com.

Holy shit, can you tell I’m very into Pokémon at the moment? I feel like that’s all I’m writing/talking about lately BUT I CAN’T HELP IT YOUR GIRL IS EXCITED.

So the latest and greatest with Pokémon Legends: Areceus…Arceues…Arceus is that we should be getting an info dump pretty damn soon. The rad folks at GamesBeat recently chatted with The Pokémon Company International’s senior director of consumer marketing, JC Smith, and he had this to say:

Okay, sure, “soon” could mean a LOT of things, but soon is better than…like, “next year” or “eventually” so I say we take it and run with it.

I, like so many others, still have soooo many questions about what kind of game Arceus is gonna turn out to be. I feel like everyone – and to an extent myself included – have their panties in a rather tight yet pleasurable bundle about this idea of an actual open-world Pokémon game coming to fruition.

BUT!

To my knowledge, it hasn’t officially been confirmed that this is an open-world Pokémon game. And I know, I know – there are MILLIONS of more important things I should be spending my brainpower on, but damn, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been thinking about this since its announcement in February.

Has Pokémon themselves used the term “open world” to describe Arceus? Via the video: “With the village as your base you’ll venture out to the different corners of the region” Soo…maybe the village is in the middle of a large map? AM I OVERTHINKING THIS

— Brittney Brombacher (@BlondeNerd) February 26, 2021

Not to be a Negative Nidoqueen, but I have my doubts that Arceus is going to be the true, expansive open-world Pokémon game (most) of us have been wanting since we were wee children. It’s just, and this pains me to say, I feel like my hopes vs. reality when it comes to Pokémon have been a bit…humbled, as of late.

And to be fair my hope are a bit extreme. I mean, if my “hopes” were designing the next mainline Pokémon title, it:

• Would be fully open world with large, vastly different, detailed terrains with several bustling towns and villages to explore
• Would feature real time combat, where stats like speed and evasion REALLY come into play and are controlled by the player themselves. IMAGINE DODGING GYARADOS’ HYDRO PUMP AS CHARIZARD IN REAL TIME
• Would feature a progression system for the Pokémon trainer
• Would feature numerous, impactful side-quests that would have some sort of impact – whether narratively, or perhaps you’ll nab an exclusive Pokémon for your troubles
• Would look a lot like this:

I could go on, but that’s just my idealized version of Pokémon. Will this wet dream ever become a reality? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ahem.

So, onto Arceus.

I scoured the official website, and here’s the language I was able to pull:

• “The Pokémon Legends: Arceus game honors past Pokémon games’ core gameplay while infusing new action and RPG elements.”
• “You’ll be brought to the Sinnoh region, the setting for the Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl games. But this story unfolds in a long-gone era, before ideas such as being a Pokémon Trainer or having a Pokémon League even existed. All around, you’ll find Pokémon living wild in harsh environments that make for a Sinnoh unlike the region you may remember from the days of the Pokémon Diamond and Pokémon Pearl games.”
• This is from an Arceus trailer: “With the village as your base you’ll venture out to the different corners of the region…”

If you watch the trailer (below) you’ll see that it DOES look open-world-esque, but honestly, what I see when I look at that trailer is just one huge Wild Area, like what we have in Pokémon Sword and Shield. The terrain we’re shown in those few brief shots looks incredibly similar to one another, which adds weight to my “one big ol’ Wild Area” theory. And it’s looking like there’s just one town in the entire game, so…

Real talk: No matter how “open world” the game ends up being, I’m gonna remain optimistic that it’ll be a step in the right direction. But regardless, it sounds like we’re in for some new changes to the tried ‘n true Pokémon formula with the catching system, those “new action/RPG elements” and the ancient setting of the Sinnoh region.

WE. SHALL. SEE.

The post Pokémon Legends: Arceus Info Incoming first appeared on A video game blog and other shenanigans | Blondenerd.com.