The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

 

My history with The Witcher is a strange one. After hearing about my buddy Beez rave about it again and again on our (semi) weekly podcast I finally gave into temptations. “It’s just like Dragon Age,” he said. “You’ll fall in love with it, he said.”

Well, dammit. He was totally right and I soon became obsessed with The Witcher. I mean, hi. I banged a chick within the first, what, 3o minutes of gameplay?

But I digress. Unfortunately I ended up burning myself out of The Witcher because I hated staring at a computer screen 15+ hours every day (I had recently became self-employed and was spending all day on a computer as is), halted my progress and, sadly, haven’t resumed The Witcher to this day. But even so, I’ve always had a soft spot for the epic game because it’s SUCH an immersive, fun-as-fuck (for lack of a better term) experience. So, when I received an invite to see The Witcher 3 behind closed doors I jumped on it faster than that pimp Geralt jumps on bitches.

Guys, CD Projekt RED sold me within the first five minutes of the demo. I don’t even know where to start.

I suppose I could start by gushing about the beautiful landscape. Even though we were being shown live, pre-alpha gameplay I was taken aback by just how GORGEOUS and inviting the land was. As Geralt and his faitfhul steed were galloping throughout forests and across worn, dirt roads I wanted to BEG the demoer to stop and explore every single surrounding inch. (Is that what she said?) The few times he did hop off of his horse and searched his surroundings certainly scratched my itch for exploration, but consequently I found myself only wanting more as every “stop” resulted in another side quest or lead you to believe there would be future consequences for whatever action you had taken. Granted, this concept isn’t a breakthrough in gaming innovation, but it’s still appreciated nonetheless.

Another piece of awesomeness is the weather implementation. Wanna hop in a boat and go to that other area? Better crank your neck up and ensure the clouds aren’t dark and gloomy ‘cuz if it begins storming while you’re pulling a King of Red Lions a ‘la Wind Waker your ass is grass. (Not even Geralt can survive being thrown and smashed against rocky cliffsides.) The NPCs in the game will also react to weather, and this will affect who you find scavenging in the woods or hanging outside of their home.

I HAVE to mention the dialogue. GAH! Because we were short on time we weren’t able to dive too deep into conversations,, but the voice acting and facial animations were freakin’ top notch. I WANTED HIM TO ASK ALL OF THE QUESTIONS because every character we came into contact with was animated, lively and were voiced by fantastic actors.

So, um, yeah. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.