Dear hot wings,
Why did you feel the need to hurt me?
I think you misunderstand our relationship. I consume you because I want you to have an existence, and — …What? What’s that? You say you don’t understand my logic? Well, dear chickens, if it wasn’t for my constant eating of hot wings you would not be in high demand, therefore the world would not have a use for your kind. So, you can thank me for what little short-lived existence you have.
But now you’ve tainted our relationship. And you see, this puts me in a tough position. If I terminate the consumption of your brethren I will no longer give my taste buds the euphoria they deserve. However, if I continue to devour you, your well-being will continue its plagued existence and your kin will continue to see the light of day.
Fuck it. I’m going to GameWorks tonight and eating the shit out of you, your mother, your father and your cousins. AND I WILL LAUGH MANICALLY WHILE I DO SO.
REVENGE IS A BITCH, ISN’T IT?!