Run For Your Lives: A Zombie 5K

Update: THE DAY IS UPON US. AND BY US I MEAN ME. Wish me luck, and I’ll try my best to take lots of pics! But, like, that might be kinda difficult. “OHAI Mr. Zombie, please let me snap this picture before you OHMYGODMYBRAINS.”


It feels like just yesterday my buddy Rich called me during work.

“You have to drop everything you’re doing and check out this website.”

“I’m at work!”

“Just do it.”

Well, that guy knows me pretty well and he was right – I remember practically salivating over what was displayed in front of my eyeballs. AND NO, it wasn’t a nude Alistair pic. It was a website advertising this:



And it was coming to Washington.

Ahem. OH HELL YES MUDDAFUCKA YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WILL BE PARTAKING IN THIS SHIT. But, um, it looks like a lot of hard work. It’s definitely not going to be the same thing as lying on my couch, body sprawled, with a controller in hand. Nope. I’m going to have to use my actual legs for this. ::slaps them:: I hope you still work, brosephs!

The 5K is on August 4th and it’s located few hours south of Seattle. $87 nabs you race admittance, a t-shirt, a free beer, a race medal and access to the Apocalypse Party. Whatever that is. Maybe I’ll meet my future husband there. “Hey, where’d you meet?” “At a zombie run. He turned me into a zombie. It was pretty romantic.”

Each runner (that’ll be me!) will be given three flags to place around their waist. The zombies – shamblers and sprinters — will try to grab the flags and “turn” runners into zombies. But even if the runner’s flags are gone it sounds like we’re still urged to finish the 5K, and it doesn’t sound like we actually are allowed to “eat” other people, aka steal their flags.

Guys, I’m not quite sure how I’m going to handle myself during this situation. As far as I know I might get WAY too into it and start climbing trees and shit to scout. Of course, I would have to make sure I was in the clear for if I were to suddenly be surrounded by hovering zombies whilst in the tree I’d be screwed. And who knows? I might never come down because, you know, there would be ZOMBIES waiting down there to eat me. What do you mean, they’re just actors? LIES! YOU JUST WANT TO EAT ME!!!

…oh man. This could get ugly.

Don’t live near Seattle? Here’s the schedule:

8/18/2012 – Missouri

9/1/2012 – Pennsylvania

9/22/2012 – Toronot

10/20 & 10/21 – Southern California

10/27/2012 – Maryland

11/17/2012 – Florida

12/15/2012 – Texas



  1. Sounds like so much fun, I dream of running something like this. 5km to run isn’t so bad. I might flip out though, go into fight mode and start taking out “zombies”

    I now have a vision of a bunch battered up dudes with bruised legs limping back after I tried to get them out of my way. Still, even just the thrill of it brings a killer’s smile to my lips

    • LOL. Bradley, you’re doing it right. I don’t know how a zombie fanatic COULDN’T end up going crazy.

    • Oh, I’m sure there will be. I hope I don’t get freaked out and drop it though. That would be rather unfortunate. “HERE ZOMBIE, LET ME SNAP A PIC OF YOU”

  2. Even though it’s not “real” I gotta give you props. cause zombies still freak me out like I’m a little girl. And I need to grow a pair before I do anything like that

    • Awww :( I’m sure it’ll come around again! I’ll make sure I post lots of picks and tell you all about it :)

  3. I used to say mathafaka as my catchprase in school, then a tard at work used it like it was his. NOw I dont even want to say it >.> fucker stole my catch prhase. Now I dont want to read about zombies

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