March 12, 2012: OHAI, Pallet Town!

I have serious issues staying committed to handheld games. No matter how great the game is, if it’s a handheld exclusive, the odds of me completing it are like 18%. I’d rather play something on a nice, big, BRIGHT television—which is why I thank God daily for the Super Game Boy.

And thanks to the Super Game Boy I once made ample progress in Pokemon Blue, but I never finished the damn game.

It wasn't you, it was me...

I remember becoming frustrated with it because I couldn’t understand WHY my Charizard wouldn’t pay attention to me. ::sadface:: I also had this misconstrued thought that Pokemon Blue was a HUGE game—probably because the amount of catchable Pokemon appeared intimidating—aaand I thought I’d never finish, so I gave up. And was probably introduced to something shiny like Earthbound or Harvest Moon.


Yesterday I started Pokemon Blue on Super Game Boy. And now that I’m older and, uh, wiser, I understand Pokemon Blue really isn’t that big of an undertaking. Now I’m hooked. ABSOLUTLEY hooked. I think I spent a total of nearly five hours yesterday, and within that time I defeated two gym leaders and caught about 15 Pokemon.

I’m telling you it has been a LONG time since I experienced nostalgia like that. From the opening theme to the battle music, I felt like every five minutes I was snapping photos and squealing over something or another.

How can Pallet Town even be called a town? There's like, two houses. It should be Pallet Settlement.

I didn’t know this, but you can catch Pikachu in Viridian Forest–although they’re very rare. Since I never caught one in my prior play through I figured I’d give it some effort. And by some effort I mean I would wander around for over an hour.

Finally, after many Caterpies and Weedles…

WOOHOO! I caught that bitch! I planned on using him a lot during the game, but I quickly discovered he really ain’t all that and a bag of chips. Buuuut I knew I would need to level him for the battle with Misty–and while I was doing that I came across ANOTHER freakin’ Pikachu!

Speaking of…that battle with Misty was a BITCH! I ultimately defeated her, but only after I leveled Pikachu up to 20 and even that wasn’t enough. (I eventually had to put Charmeleon in!)

But yeah. It was a bitch.

At times, I became desperate.


After pwnin’g Misty (after she pwn’d me several times) I was mentally exhausted and had to turn Pokemon off. But I’m already thinking about playing it later today. I’m so friggen’ addicted. The next thing you know I’m going to be spending $400 on a sealed box of Red and Blue trading cards.

 On a final note, I’m really enjoying the simplicity. Playing an old school GameBoy game like Pokemon Blue is like a cleanse for the nerdy soul; everything is so cut and dry and what you see is what you get. There aren’t any future DLC packs to worry about, no patches to download and no updates to install everytime you turn on the system.


March 20th, 2012: GO FISH, GO!!

Y’know, it’s kind of hard to write about one’s progress in Pokémon! I mean, it’s not like the story is super complex with uber-layers and there isn’t a heckuva lot to do besides wander around, defeat gym leaders and, well, catch Pokémon.

That being said, I spent a few hours last week catching these mystical creatures I would give my right testicle to bring into IRL. Seriously. I wish Pokémon were real so hard—but what’s weird is I used to want an IRL Koffing. I thought the little ball of gas would be extremely fun to play with.

::points to self: WEIRDO. Yeah, he’d be super cute until he farted all over your face.

Anyway, I defeated Lt. Surge and he was a walk in the park compared to the battle with Misty!

The battle with Surge eventually put my Charmeleon over level 30 (I think he’s currently at 32) AND if I remember correctly, Misty’s badge only confirms level 30 and below Pokemon will obey. I don’t remember getting another level-esque badges from Surge, so I’m worried Charmeleon will stop listening–in which case, ladies and gentlemen, I’m fucked.

However, I do have a new weapon in my arsenal.

YEAAAAH! Go fish, go!

Other than Magikarp Gyarados, I’m currently rolling with Charmeleon (duh), a level 20 Pikachu, level 29 Dugtrio, a level 10 Sandshrew and a level 10 Bellsprout. I have a Geodude being watched by the daycare.

::cue cheesy smile and thumb-up signs:: GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!

….Unfortunately I think I’ve caught, like, 30.

April 10th, 2012: Creepy Channelers

I’m still playing Pokemon Blue! But man, like I’ve said a million times before, it’s a hard game to write about. It’s like, “Ho-kay, I want to the Pokemon Tower and defeated a bunch of Channelers and fought a butt-load of Gastlys. After that I put Cubone’s mother, Marowak, to rest and saved Mr. Fuiji which gave me the Poke Flute so I can wake Snorlax up!”

Creepy channelers...

OH! I fought Gary. Again. I also caught a Haunter. He absolutely murdered everyone at that dojo in Saffron City.

Now I believe I’m in Silph Co, trying to level up my ish so I can fight Sabrina because DAAAMN her Pokemon are high leveled! I think all of them are above 38, and I think Charry (Charizard) is at 41, 42 and Gary (Gyarados) is around 38? All the rest are below that. Enggggh.

April 24th, 2012: Syphilis Co.

YEAH SILPH CO! I went through you and dominated you and all of your stupid Team Rocket intruders! YEAH! …honestly, I’m not even sure what Silph co is. I just know Team Rocket was trying to, like, take over the place for immoral reasons and/or purposes. But alas, I pwn’d Giovanni – OH! Here’s a description courtesy of Bulbapedia

Silph Co. is the leading manufacturer of Pokémon technology. It is this company that develops the most commercially used Poké Balls, constantly looking for ways to improve upon them. Silph is also known to produce several other Pokémon-related items, including medicine and Technical Machines, supplying Poké Marts of their territory. Its president is a kind, old man.

Alrighty, then. The kind, old president gave me a Master Ball and his sexy assistant told me she admired my courage. I gotta be honest, the very first thing that went through my mind was “PSSSSH. Save that line for Link!” but I didn’t say it out loud nor did I entertain that thought anymore because I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

I left Syphilis Co and fought Sabrina, and the fight was epically easy thanks to Haunter — who has become one of my favorite Pokémon EVER – and Gary…I mean, Gyarados. Yes. I’ve become one of those nutjobs who give nicknames to their Pokémonz.

Next up was that damn Snorlax – that fat, sleeping bastard south of Lavender town had cockblocked me long enough. I played that Pokéflute like it was nobody’s business and BLAMMO we, like, fought and stuff. I somehow managed to fit a 1000+ lb creature into a tiny Pokéball. This makes me question how the eff Onix gets in there. Maybe I’m better off not knowing.

Ash then received an *ahem* upgrade, one of which I will refrain from making sexual remarks about:

I then caught a Krabby and captured a Weepinbell. And all I will say about that Pokemon is “DSL”.

Don’t know what DSL stands for? No, it’s not what you think. Google it.

May 1st, 2012: Safari Zone!

I shall update you of the progress I have made in Pokémon Blue with the help of many photos:

I caught a Venonat. That itself isn’t very exciting, but I’m just throwing this out there – if a 3’3”, 66 lb BUG approached me I would probably drop to the floor and begin seizing. Seriously. I’m not the biggest fan of huge insects, especially when they’re the size of a toddler. Like, the eyes…THE EYES. OH MY GOD THE EYES.

Little Charry is growing up so fast and is becoming so powerful. Before I know it he’ll be moving out and living his own life. Little does he know I always have the power to force him into a small round red and white ball at all times. Pimp.

I couldn’t help myself.

It was time to explore the beloved Safari Zone! I faintly remember this area from my first play through way back when, but I had forgotten how much patience it requires! Like, if you want to catch a Chansey you better have a never-ending supply of three things: beer, hot wings and water. The hot wings to provide nutrients, the beer to help the time go by faster and the water to hydrate you from said beer and hot wings. Anywho, I didn’t catch a Chansey, Kangaskhan, Dratini or Tauros. There might have been more, but I was running out of patience HARD. Apparently one trick is to throw a rock as it increases your chance of catching it, but also increases the chance it will run away. But again, my patience was running thin sooo whatever. I have a badass line-up already!

After I ran out of patience at the Safari Zone I headed to Mr. Koga, who I “dares” to challenged him. He was pretty easy to defeat, actually. Like I said above I have a badass line-up of Pokémon – Charizard, Haunter, Gyarados and, a Pokémon I haven’t talked about yet, Zapdos. And because my line-up is so well off I’ve found myself kind of giving up trying to catch every Pokémon I can. It was a fun goal at first, but anymore it seems kind of pointless.

This is a weird character. It might be hard to tell from the photo, but when it walks it looks like it has a Pidgey’s body or something. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Next up: ZAPDOS!!!

May 9th, 2012: Zapdos, you suck in the best way possible.

Catching Zapdos was a BITCHHHHHHH.

I will now present to you a plethora of photos depicting my battle with the legendary bastard. Please feel free to come to your own conclusions.

Round One:

YEAH! Now I just need to put Zapdos to sleep...
...or not...

Round Two:

I had gotten Zapdos' HP down and he was asleep. But I couldn't catch the bastard.
Of course he wakes up. OF COURSE.
Let's try this again...
You're going down, bitch.
Somehow this is a thing that happened.
NEVER FEAR! I had a few Full Restores in my inventory!
Aaand before I knew it this had happened to my entire roster. Haunter didn't last much longer...

Round Three:

I was too frustrated to take photos leading up to this.

So, yes. I finally caught Zapdos.


March 12, 2012: I ARE POKEMON MASTER!

With Zapdos in hand, it’s easy to say I pretty much blew through the rest of the game. Articuno and Moltres were *CAKE* to catch compared to that electric mudda’fugga. My line up was amazeballs and NO ONE COULD STOP ME! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

To be 112% honest I was a little disappointed with Pokémon’s difficulty. The only struggle that comes to mind are the battles with Misty and Zapdos, and even those weren’t excruciating compared to some of the battles I’ve fought in other JRPGs. ::flexes muscles:: The random encounters with Pokémon weren’t tough nor were the trainer battles — but then again I suppose this could be because I had some knowledge re: the elements and what’s uber weak/powerful against what (fire x ice, fire x water, etc.) therefore I tried to have one Pokémon per element in my roster at all times. I WAS READY FOR ANYTHING.

The OTHER thing that was a bit disappointing was the lack of necessity to level up every caught Pokémon. Logically the unnecessity makes sense because really, who wants to spend the time beefing up a billion different Pokémon? THIS AINT SUIKODEN! But I can’t deny that my inner JRPG fangirl was urging me to spend hours in the tall grass grinding and leveling up those damn creatures, but thanks to the advice of a Pokémon guru I hesitantly took, I didn’t make the mistake of wasting hours of my life doing so. I found as long as I focused on my main roster I’d be juuuust fine. (In fact, I wonder if the reason I never finished Pokémon Blue as a kid was because I burned out trying to level every Pokémon.)

Now with all of the minor bitching out of the way, I want to tell ya’ll that I absolutely LOVED Pokémon Blue. It felt so, SO good to spend 30+ hours with a simplistic retro game from my childhood. And because of the warm and fuzzy feelings caused by teh retro, I started up Illusion of Gaia and I’m also going to dink around with a Link to the Past on the side.

Yes. I have never finished a Link to the Past. But I swear I’m fixing that soon.


  1. Back a while ago I made a blog post on My IGN with checkup for all my Pokemon game status’.  Here’s how my team looked on my 2nd play through of Pokemon Red.
    Pikachu Lv 47, Charizard 43, Dugtrio 46, Pidgeot 45, Vaporeon 49, Gloom 46.
    I remember Pikachu and Vaporeon having a lot of trouble on Lorelei.  ha

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