Pick a Box, Any Box…


steam boxes

Yesterday evening Valve showcased 14 Steam Machines during their oh-so-short (I heard it was like, seven minutes)(SEVEN MINUTES OF GABEN THAT IS) CES press conference. This goes without saying, but what makes these Steam Machines is that they run SteamOS and, well, you better prepare your wallet ‘cuz these bad boys range from $499 to….are you ready for it…SIX MOTHERFUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS. ;_____; 

If you want to take a look at each individual model and their respective specs/price, head over to IGN and please interpret all of that PC talk if you don’t mind. I clearly didn’t put enough comprehensive skill points in the “Tech Spec Lingo” category while I was incubating in my mother’s womb. Anyway, after the reveals I find myself asking the million dollar question:

What type of trimming does Alistair enjoy in his nether region?

HAHAHAHA. Oh, shit. So sorry. But seriously, the true question is whether or not I need a Steam Machine. My first instinct is to scream “YES!” and pre-order the shit out of everything (because that’s just what I do) but when I break it down I truly can’t say it would make much sense. For one, I have all of my consoles, past and current gen, in the living room. Two, I recently splurged on an Alienware laptop so I can partake in some high-end PC gaming whenever I get the bug. (Dragon Age and The Witcher may or many not have had most of everything to do with aforementioned Alienware purchase.)

So, right. I can’t think of why I would need a Steam Machine other than to say I’ve dinked around and have experienced one. And admittedly that alien-chest-looking controller has my interest piqued all to hell, but..but I JUST DON’T NEED ONE. Unless I’m missing something, that is. Let me know what you think about the Steam Machines and if you plan to pick one up when they’re ready for release.

I…I have to get my hands on this.


  1. I’m enjoying the looks and specs of the iBuyPower machine. for $499 it can run everything at 1080p at 60 FPS. The Digital Storm rig however is a dual-boot Windows and Steam OS for $1,899. Not sure if that count’s as a “Steam” machine though… as for the controller… I’m not really sold on the touch pad replacements for analog sticks… We will see.

      • Well IBuyPower’s and CyberPower’s machines are almost Identical. They both will pack an AMD “Multicore CPU”, 8GB of DDR3-1600 memory, a Radeon R9 270 GPU, a 500GB hard drive (7200 RPM), and a built-in 802.11n Wi-Fi receiver onto an mITX motherboard. CyberPower will also have a step up model with Intel and Nvidia parts for $699. Zotac’s is meant to be very mobile, it even Piggie Backs on to a monitor via VESA mounts. Considering the price of next Gen consoles, it’s pretty damn cheap.

    • Yea that seems like it would be the best option actually. Cause SteamOS is essentially just Steam Big Picture Mode with the potential for a few more media features later on (ie built in Netflix, etc). But since that Alienware laptop is already a beast of a machine, all you’d need to do is hook it up to your tv via HDMI, and use Big Picture Mode with a controller, and it’s ostensibly a Steam Machine anyways (with very few differences).

      Also, apparently the Steam controller can work with any game regardless if it has controller support or not (it can fool the game into thinking it is a keyboard and mouse). I haven’t heard yet though when/if they’ll sell the controller separately, but you know sooner or later they’re gonna do it. I can’t wait to try it our myself, as it looks really promising -> http://youtu.be/eeAjkbNq4xI

      • Huh, talk about weird timing eh, but they literally just announced a redesign for the controller lol. Also, according to the article they’ll go on sale sometime later this year, although to be honest this new design is giving me hand cramps just looking at it (those new button placements specifically). Anyways, for all we know this might not be the absolute final design so we’ll see how it goes.


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