Ocean Marketing FAIL

By now I’m sure you’ve heard of the Ocean Marketing SNAFU. Long story short: a customer had paid for and ordered an Avenger controller, but had not received the product within the time frame originally provided, so he inquired about it via email. But according to Paul Christoforo of Ocean Marketing (the customer service rep) inquiring and complaining about your paid product not arriving on time is a silly thing to do.

Here’s an excerpt taken directly from Paul’s email:

“Things happen in manufacturing if your unhappy you have 7 days from the day your item ships for a refund. You placed a pre order just like any software title the gets a date moved due to the tweaks and bugs not being worked out and GameStop or any other place holds your cash and im sure you don’t complain to activision or epic games so put on your big boy hat and wait it out like everyone else. The benefit is a token of our appreaciation for everyone no one is special including you or any first time buyer . Feel free to cancel we need the units were back ordered 11,000 units so your 2 will be gone fast. Maybe I’ll put them on eBay for 150.00 myself. Have a good day Dan.”

He ultimately was a big name-dropping douchebag who claimed to know the EIC of IGN, Kotaku and Engadget when the customer told him he was going to publicize the emails. (Hilarity ensued when those folks he claimed to know publicly bashed him and negated his story.)

Well, the emails were publicized and Mike Krahulik, the artist for Penny Arcade became involved (due to Mr. Douchebag making a smartass remark somewhere about having a booth at PAX) and informed Paul he would not be permitted a booth at PAX East. Paul didn’t quite understand what it meant that, oh you know, someone from Penny Arcade was now involved and he brushed the threat away. In fact, in a stupor of stupid Paul told Mike that he loved their webcomic. (Epic LULZ.)  Long story short, the internet blew up. Now Ocean Marketing’s Dave looks like a moron. It’s quite hilarious.

Now that you know the story, you can enjoy the below parody. <3.


  1. Om the plus side you get to talk to an actual rep and not just a machine (If you are a whine fuck press 1, if you are a douchebag that can’t wait 15 minutes continue to hold, if you are calling just to tell us how awesome we are, we already know, so you can hang the fuck up now)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.