My Gamer Ego is Bruised Yet Again (Bayonetta Log #3.5)

It had been a good while since I’d played Bayonetta, and I missed that crazy witch. (Seriously, I don’t know how anyone can NOT like her! She’s so charming in her own sexy, twisted way. I would bear her children if it were possible.) However, I soon found out that I had forgotten most of the combos, and even though I had that loading screen to remind me it wasn’t enough. So when I started getting my ass handed to me in the middle of Chapter Two I naturally blamed my airheadedness.

This shouldn't be that hard to remember.

But then the combos came back to me, and yet I was still getting my butt beat. BAD. Like, Platinum Games came over and said, “Here Britt, take this silver platter with your ass on it.” And it wasn’t like I was being challenged in a good way. I was being challenged in a holy-hell-are-you-seriously-expecting-me-to-get-through-this kind of way. It was bordering controller throwage.

After several more failed attempts I reluctantly took the difficulty down a notch to Easy. This stung for two reasons: 1) I just watched my friend Jayson defeat Ninja Gaiden 2 on the hardest difficulty, and since we sorta-kinda have this competitive thing going on, I felt like I should be able to at least handle Bayonetta’s Normal. HOWEVER, I need to keep reminding myself that I’m not an freak of nature like he is, and that this is honestly the first action/adventure combo-reliant game I’ve really ever sat down with. 2) WHO WANTS TO PLAY A GAME ON EASY DIFFICULTY? The only way one gets better is to challenge oneself, amirite? 3) My ego.  OH GOD, MY EGO. (LEGGO MY EGGO!)

After I finished being butthurt, I started over Chapter Two on Easy. I figured that, hey, the challenge would be lessened a bit, but not by a substantial amount.

Well, shit.

Guys, the game is now too freakin’ easy! I don’t need to worry about dodging OR remembering combos anymore. All I need to do is button mash and the battles are practically over before they even started—which is not what I was looking for. I still want a taste of the challenge from Normal difficulty, but I want to um…WIN from time to time. So needless to say, I feel as if there isn’t a happy medium between Easy and Normal mode.

But now I must ask myself this: what mode do I continue to play in?

I struggled with this for a minute until I remembered Batman: Arkham City releases in two weeks. Now, you may find yourself wondering what the heck that has to do with anything. My friends—let me tell you—it has everything to do with everything. You see, if I were to continue playing Bayonetta on Normal difficulty, one of two things would happen: 1) I’d become so frustrated from dying all of the time I’d give up and never play it again, and if I have an unfinished game it’s EXTREMELY hard for me to start up a new one. 2) If I were to remain persistent and pursue Bayonetta, my guess is that it would take me roughly 27.632 years to complete it. By that time, I’ll be 50-years-old and too depressed to gaze upon Bayonetta’s unrealistically sexy body, which might lead me to receive plastic surgery and leg extensions.

I don't know what she's wearing or why, but you get what I'm sayin'.

Neither of those outcomes are bueno, and because I want nothing more at this point than to experience (read: finish) Bayonetta so I can smoothly transition over to Arkham City when the time comes, I have decided to finish the game in Easy mode. Which is what it is. I actually asked folks on Twitter if they had a rough time with the game, and it sounds like most did, and some never finished because it was so tough!

…But damn. If I’m not using guides for Portal 2, I’m lowering the difficulty in Bayonetta. Can I even call myself a gamer now?



  1. Oh man, only advise that I could give you is improving your timing once you get the witch trigger down then it gets much easier. Like in God of War if you block at the right time, he counter attacks. Just food for thought, but Easy mode was designed so you could play it with one hand too!

  2. What is troublesome is that you are still in Chapter 2 :S, so going Easy mode is probably the right call. I’ve finished all God of War games in Hard/Chaos Modes (Very Hard) and beat Bayonetta + DMC on Hard and played a fair chunk of Ninja Gaiden. IMO, Ninja Gaiden and DMC3 are probably the toughest games to beat, but it’s all about timing and anticipation :P

    • Yeah, exactly! If I’m suffering so hard like I am in ONLY the second chapter, methinks it was a wise call ;)

      Also, you’re another freak of nature. YOU’RE CRAZY. How do you finish those games on that difficulty?!

  3. Bayonetta is one touch biatch. I don’t know what’s worse, Bayonetta on normal or Uncharted 1 or 2 on Crushing (which I’m doing right now before UC3 comes out)

    Speaking of UC, any room on your friends list so we can play some UC3 together? :D

    • I *think* right now it’s full, but I’ll definitely look! I need to delete some folks off of there that haven’t signed on in months. Also, you’re crazy.

  4. Ahaha.. Yes normal mode on Bayonetta was kind of challenging in later chapters and certain boss fights, but definitely not that hard on Chapter 2.. heh

    I like to think of myself as a gaming nerd, but i don’t intend to go beat modes like Legendary Dark Witch or Crushing mode on UC. Just no patience for the uber hard for games that rely on completely mastery of combos and quick hand eye coordination reflexes.

    Tho, I did complete Legendary difficulty on all Halo related games. And am presently working on completing Insanity mode on Gears of War 3. :)

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