Meet My Messy, Sloppy New Apartment

You like messy and sloppy things, don’t you? Yeah you do, you dirty girl.

This just became awkward. But whatever. I’ve been spending the past, uhh…what’s 24×4? 96 or so hours moving my ass across ENTIRE CITIES (that may or may not be an exaggeration) and, well, my brain is absolutely FRIED! Like, fried-fried. We’re talking onion straws fried.

onion straws

…See what I mean?

But nonetheless I have no shame and am here to show you some crazy, messy, sloppy pictures of my apartment in its current state. After all, we’re all friends here and I can rest easy knowing that some of your places look just as bad *if not worse* than mine. SO THERE.

This, my friends, is a kitchen. I know it resembles nothing like one would assume while thinking of the word “kitchen”, but trust me, there’s some cooking shit in there somewhere. The most important thing is the microwave because that’s how I cook all of my gourmet meals. (I can nuke a mean hot pocket.)
Contrary to popular belief I have a vagina, therefore that makes me female which means I receive an innate high off of collecting garments to put on my body. ALSO +1 COOL POINTS FOR A CAVE JOHNSON PORTRAIT!
THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF MY NEW WOMAN CAVE. It’s rather empty, and this probably isn’t the best angle to show you, but I now have a killer view AND awesome lighting for future videos!


And this…this, ladies and gentlemen, is my pride and joy. In fact, it means so much to me this photo receives its own friggen’ paragraph and not a caption.

This will be the Hub for all things living and/or *mostly* gaming. (…That makes no sense.) I’ve actually received a lot of questions about why I need two TV’s in my living room, which surprises me because, uh, video games. Want to come over and game? Bring your console and let’s do it. Want to watch football and game? Let’s do it. Have a tedious grinding session in a JPRG? NO WORRIES — fire up a movie on the other screen! I mean, I feel like I don’t really need to explain it further. ;)

Even with all of that, my woman cave stuffthings haven’t been unpacked, so, erm, yeah. I still have a LOT LOT LOT more to do. But it’s…uh…all about the pacing not the…time? What’s that motivational quote? LIFE IS A JOURNEY NOT A RACE. No, that’s not it. Life is a marathon not a sprint?

Aw, fuck it.


  1. I have one concern with your kitchen… The flex duct that connects the exhaust fan over your oven… This is a fire hazard. Flex duct has groves in it and therefore catches flammable carbon particles. This would be completely against the building codes in my neck of the woods, and if you are in a metro area more than likely yours as well. Please point this out to the landlord as I wish to continue seeing your posts (It would be very easy to hard pipe that in) I’m sure they don’t want thier entire bldg catching on fire.

  2. And here I was thinking the reason for 2 TVs and 2 monitors was you were like a chameleon and moved and focused both eyes independently.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.