Dear Little Mac,
I’m so very turned on — I mean, happy that your playability in the new Smash Bros. games was announced during today’s Nintendo Direct. I know you must be getting SWARMED by tons of fan emails, letters and phone calls, but I want you to know that your hot sexy self — um, excuse me, instant re-rise of internet fame does not affect me. You see, Little Mac, I never played a lot of Punch-Out! which is why, to me, you’re just Little Mac. And I’m just Brittney. And together I think you and I have a bright future full of muscles, uh, memories. Memories.
Call me? xoxo