I tried Zelda II last night

I tried, you guys.  I really did. But DAMN — that lasted as long as a virgin’s first time in the sack. Not that I, uh, have any experience with that and HEY did I tell you I tried Zelda II last night? Because I did. And this is what I got from the whole twelve minutes I played:

This is the overworld. It errs on the side of crappy, but I get it — this is a NES game. And honestly I could get past the look of it. It actually causes some retro warm and fuzzies…but what I’m not a huge fan of are these:

THESE BAD GUY ENCOUNTERS SUCK. “Ohai I’m going to wander around the world map until three bad guys spawn all around me and randomly move around, touch me and bring me to another screen where I must fight a never-ending spawn of monsters!” (One would think I’d be used to this from all of the old school JRPG’s I play.) But, like, what’s the point of them? Just to annoy you? I don’t recall receiving any “experience” points from these annoying fucknuts, but maybe by that time I was so checked out I was done paying attention. Speaking of experience points…

Huh. This is leveling up system is…cute and different. Actually, it’s a fun concept. Get exp. points by slaying random enemies (not sure which enemies spawn points and which ones don’t) then level up! But beware, for if you get hurt you’ll lose points! GYAH! Personally, I don’t think I’d have the patience for this. Not anymore, anyway. I think I’m too spoiled by the convenience of current games — which could spawn a whole ‘nother blog post where I rant on and on about how I don’t wanna spend the majority of my time dying, and how I don’t have the patience to get REALLY good at a game anymore, yadda yadda yadda….

I don’t mind the dungeons all that much, I mean sure they’re repetitive (in regards to the same “screens” scrolling over and over) and again, that delivers some retro warm and fuzzies. But like I said above, I don’t like having to spawn at the beginning dungeons and losing my progress if I die. Because I am a lazy bastard and during what little gaming time I have I’d like to make actual progress. WHERE ARE MY CHECKPOINTS?!!! (More like “WHERE’S MY PRISTINE HAND/EYE COORDINATION?!”)

In all seriousness, I probably didn’t give Zelda II a fair shake. It was late at night, I was tired and looking for a chill game to unwind with. And, um, that didn’t really happen with Zelda II but I’ll give it another shot.

Also, it probably didn’t help that I was playing on the Wii remote. I really need to find my classic controller.


  1. Fuckkkkk that gameeee..I tried playing it a couple of months ago and only made it a couple of hours in before I had enough. It just is not Zelda to me, and its not what I expect coming from a Zelda game, even the ones back on the NES and SNES. I really wanted to beat all of the Zeldas and in release order, but I had to just skip this one and go straight to A Link to the Past, maybe you’ll have better luck with it though

  2. acckkk!! never was a huge fan of the nes zelda’s. i liked the original game boy zelda with the shells(dont remember the name0. i was more into mario,contra,ikari warriors,ddragon,tmnt for the nes. snes is a whole nother story!!!!

  3. I literally just beat this game an hour ago (3:00pm Friday). Granted, I was on an emulator with savestates, but that doesn’t matter one bit!

    To be honest, it’s a completely skippable entry in the series, if you ask me. Nowhere near the awesomeness of the follow-up Link to the Past (best game ever) or Ocarina, Majora’s Mask, and Wind Waker.

    I don’t even remember seeing Ganon, at least not while alive.

    • Hmmm. Yeah, besides the handheld Zelder’s this is the only one I have yet to play. So, like, I feel obligated.

    • You don’t see ganon as its a direct sequel to the first one and you beat him already. Your trying to stop him from coming back, hence you see him when you die.

      It’s a love/hate thing. They tried some new things, obviously they learned what works and what doesn’t as the rest of the series has been pretty much gold.

  4. It was a game very demanding of your time and patience, and there wasn’t a lot of margin for error. Needless to say, unlike the first Zelda, it doesn’t hold up at all today.

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