Oh man. Mondays suck so hard.
BUT a silver lining to said Monday is that I can tell you aaaalll about a cherry of mine I popped over the weekend. My friends, for the first time EVAR I played Ninja Gaiden—specifically, Ninja Gaiden II.
It’s not like I’ve been avoiding the series my entire life—–…actuuuaaally.
I take that back. Maybe I have been avoiding the series. Five things come to mind when I think of Ninja Gaiden: Awesome hack-and-slashery, blood, guts, dismembered limbs, and boobs. I assume boobs are in there somewhere. Anyway, none of the aforementioned things are bad (especially the part about boobs) but I tend to get bored rather quickly with hack-and-slash games. To me, it’s all the same: Same moves, same button mashing, but different settings. Yawn.
But this weekend I sat down and watched a friend play Ninja Gaiden. He had the difficulty set to the highest possible and from which came many frustrating deaths, but nevertheless I found myself interested in what Ninja Gaiden had to offer. There was much to explore, treasures to be found, many moves to master, and although far from open-world, I never once felt like he was being forcibly ushered in a certain direction. Plus…Ryu is a sexy ninja.
I even went hands on with Mr. Sexy Ninja for a few minutes. I don’t have the patience to memorize epic button sequences, but I am rather good at button mashing, so I got off on destroying a few of the reptilian-esque looking baddies that were trying to kill me for some unknown reason. (Spoilers: they eventually destroyed me.)
And that’s just it– if I could get into whatever story Ninja Gaiden offer (and, for example, learn what those reptilian-esque looking fuckers really are) I’m willing to bet I could really get into the game. And you know what? The challenge the game presents is big turn on. Who doesn’t like getting tossed around every now and then, amirite? Of course, being “tossed around” equates to feeling nerd rage so intense that you throw your controller across the room and out a window, but hey.
If you’ve been following my blog, you and I both know it’d be ludicrous to think I could fit another game into my backlog at the moment. So as much as it pains me to say this, the chance that Ryu will see the little slot of my console (in the near future) is rather slim.
…you know you totally chuckled at that. No? Okay maybe I’m the only pervert around here.
So uh…any Ninja Gaiden players reading this? And have I made you feel awkward yet?