A few of you have asked for an explanation, so I will provide one. First of all, it’s not like I just ran outside stone-cold-sober, found the tallest grass I could and whacked at it with the aforementioned weapon. Oh no.
You see children, when The Blonde Nerd consumes ample amounts of alcohol she becomes about 200% nerdier. Now considering her already crazy-level amount of nerdery you can imagine where this sudden surge in nerdiness could take her. (Holy balls, how many different ways can I manipulate the word “nerd”?)
It all started when a few friends and I hung out Saturday evening for World of Warcraft, Super Smash Brothers, Skyward Sword and, well, rum consumption. Later we headed to Gameworks.
(Speaking of Gameworks, I feel like now is a good time to confess my undying love for that place. Throughout the years I’ve created countless memories and made several friends in that arcade…and in the bar. In fact, a few of the bartenders know me by name. I’m still trying to decide whether or not that’s a good or a bad thing. I’m leaning towards the latter.)
Fast forward a few hours, and here’s the sitrep: It’s 2 am and the only people still out are me and another friend. We’re feeling no pain. I am carrying a Flail I won at Gameworks, he nunchucks. In our drunken stupor we somehow stumble across a park.
Now, in my eyes, this isn’t a regular park.
This is Hyrule Field. And I am holding the fuggin’ Master Sword—that also happens to be a Flail. A stuffed Flail. With a plastic chain.
And my first instinct is to cut grass. Repeatedly. For, oh, at least 30 seconds. Unfortunately there weren’t rupees, arrows or hearts to be found. Also, I’m lucky a police officer wasn’t wandering around. That would have been fun. “Oh hey officer, I’m just very intoxicated and LARPing at the moment. See this grass? Shiny rupees are normally hidden within. …What? What’s public intoxication? OOH HANDCUFFS!”
Then a freakin’ Beamos came out of nowhere, so I attacked that too.
With the Beamos is defeated, I sat on the stool–Flail in hand–in order to replenish my hearts. I’m pretty sure that damn Beamos almost defeated me. It was an epic battle, but I fought hard.
Oh yes. Good times indeed.