Fellow nerds, I feel like I have not reached my full potential this Christmas. It’s kind of like this: I feel like I’m Link and I’m staring Ganondorf in the eyes. And as I peer into those dark and evil orbs the only thing I can think about is how I regret not properly utilizing the golden gauntlets in order to lift that ginormous rock in front of Ganon’s Castle, for that would have given me the double defense upgrade. So, like, here I am, staring the pig-nosed bastard in the face and kicking myself for being lazy. I say this for it exemplifies a comparison that conveys how I feel about my lack of pwning Christmas this year.
Actually, I think that hurt my point more than it helped it.
Point being I feel like I could have geeked out a lot more for the holidays. Sure, I have a quaint pre-lit Christmas tree, stockings, garland, a Zelda shield and other festive items of décor on/around my mantle, but I could have done MORE.
Starting with these:Sending out Christmas cards would have been the best way to jump start the holidays. So, uh, how many of you knew there were such things as ZOMBIE CHRISTMAS CARDS and failed to notify me?! I would have sent these out to family, friends and strangers. Yes, I would have driven around downtown shoving zombie Christmas cards into random mailboxes. YOUR LOSS, WORLD.
I expect you to dedicate roughly 37 seconds of pure admiration to this masterpiece. (BTW, if you look it up in the dictionary, “masterpiece” now means 8-bit videogame wreath.) I want one of these so hard–so, SO hard. It’s absolutely perfect. In fact, this would be an all-year-round decoration at my place. I might even hang it above my bed. I don’t care how tacky it is. (The coins even light up! Talk about some bedroom romance ;D)
Earlier I mentioned my pre-lit Christmas tree. Now, I know it’s not the most extravagant thing in the world, but hey, it gets the point across and the job done.
At least, I thought it did. Then I saw this:
I would do so many unspeakable things to and underneath this tree you have no idea. It’s an insta-panty dropper. I mean…uh…seeing as I’m not crafty at all, I imagine it might be kind of tricky to make ornaments containing that magnitude of awesome, but that definitely won’t stop me from trying next year! I mean, look you guys, even the tree below is way better than mine!
NEXT YEAR I WILL OWN CHRISTAMAS!!! ::shakes fist::
Were you able to break out any nerdy decorations for the holidays?