Welcome to Britt5091: Origins, where I dig up old blog posts I used to write for IGN’s community under the username Britt5091. Some posts may make you giggle, some may make your eyes bleed, and some may make you stroke your beard in a pensive manner. All you need to know is that these posts, no matter how terrible some of them may be, ultimately lead to everything I do now.
If you could be ported into ANY game of your choice, which one would you choose?
June 29th, 2009
Let’s all go back to Kindergarten and “pretend”. Let’s say that your favorite developer calls you, and asks you to participate in an experiment. The experiment? This hot new technology called NatalWand+ which allows the player to take on the lead role in his/her favorite video game.
Want to play as Link in Twilight Princess but never have held a sword? Are you a paraplegic, but want some Goomba stomping action? No problem, says the developer, you will be pre-loaded with all the immediate skills necessary upon playing. Here are the rules:
1) You will respawn.
2) You can never die for real.
3) You can choose if you want to feel pain. So, for example, if you are considering playing one of the kajillions of WW2 games out there, consider that. This separates the boys from the men, bahaha.
4) No wounds sustained from gameplay will transfer over to real life.
5) You can stop gameplay at any time.
6) If you play a game with multiple characters, you may choose to play the role of a supporting character.
7) Though you are replacing the character, you are your own person and retain your own personality; however you can’t impact the storyline.
These are the first games that came to mind:
Resident Evil (0-CVX): Holy freakin shit that would be awesome. I love the puzzles and the overall eeriness that is the *old* Resident Evil. I would search high and low for documents, pass codes and ID badges, blast zombies, tyrants, lickers and other monsters along the way. It might get kind of old running back and forth from room to room, building to building, finding this crest and that key, but I’d be preloaded with the stamina of a bull so it wouldn’t be that much of a problem. The only thing, it would SUCK to be bitten. I’d love to meet Barry and listen to him say his famous line, and then shoot him in the face. [face_angel]
Legend of Zelda: OOT: Now this one I would love to be in…I could dedicate a whole post for this. From the Deku Tree to the Shadow Temple, heart pieces to magic beans, the sweet weapons to acquire, there would be so much to do, see and learn. Who wants to wield a sword and shield? Who wants to ride a horse through the fields of Hyrule? Who wants to bitchslap Ganon? Who wants to see those scary naked fairies in real life? *raises hand* ME!
And hell I’d like to grow 7 years in the blink of an eye, and go back whenever I wanted.
Final Fantasy IX: FFIX is by far one of my favorite games of all time. I love the medieval timeframe and settings. I would have to play as Garnet/Dagger, just for the sole purpose of interacting with Zidane, but wouldn’t be the wuss she turns out to be *glare*. The characters off FFIX have great depth and distinct personalities; they would be a fun bunch to be around. What girl doesn’t dream of being a princess abducted by a thief with a monkey tail? *sigh*
I am going to have to go with?
What about you? What game, and why? Or, what game would you NEVER want to be ported into?
Ahh, see now this is kind of funny because I wrote this post four months before Dragon Age: Origins released. Actually, I don’t think I knew what DA:O even was at the time!
So, If I were to write this post now, Bioware’s fantasy masterpiece would definitely be one of the games I would consider venturing to. Sure, Darkspawn would try to kill me and taint me with their blood, but hey, I have one, ONE word for you:
Right, like you didn’t see that one coming.
But other than that, I’d want to meet the vast cast of characters and do the following:
1) Punch Loghain in the face
2) Make out with Bann Teagan
3) Poke Morrigan’s boobs
4) Have Sten crochet with me (I do not know how to crochet)
5) Go shopping with Leliana
6) Have a threesome with Zevran
7) Drink with Oghren and wrestle a nug
8) Allow Wynne to school me with her wisdom
9) Pigeon hunt with Shale
10) Play fetch with my doggie with a Darkspawn leg <3
I would travel across the land, searching far and wide—for specific landmarks such as Orzammar, Denerim, The Pearl, Ostagar (what’s left of it), Lothering…
Hmmm. You know, I’d almost say I’d rather venture to Dragon Age’s world than Ocarina of Time’s. If for nothing but the company.
Yes, I am aware that I sound like a huge nerd right now. Very. Aware.