To my male readers: Sometimes I feel sorry for you and I hereby apologize on behalf of my gender. But I hope the next time your significant other asks if they look fat in a certain piece of apparel (seriously—do girls really ask their man that?) you’ll remember this post and run.
Or you can try to pass a charisma check and lie.
OR, you can tell her, “Fuck bitch I’m eating Cheetos!” That one always goes over well! ;D