Bayonetta Log #5: I pwn’d Fortitudo.

…And it felt damn good! Seriously, Ive been wondering when the hell Id be able to stomp on that ugly two dragon headed facething. Yeah, what was he anyway? Was it even a he? Maybe I should call it an it. Either way, I ripped those dragon heads off and fuckin smashed its face in. <3.

Fortitudo did say a little somthin-somethin gave a possible sneak peek into Bayonettas background. Before I stomped his ass, he said that there was a witch that had survived the annihilation, and that she challenged the angels dominion. Fortitudo also said that this witch must have been sad, for she ultimately would reunite with hell because she had made a pact with the darkness in order to have the powers of a witch, and that if Bayonetta was said witch he would gladly end her torment (aka kill her). So she shot him. God I love this woman.

An epic battle ensued. I will glady state, again, that I ripped his dragon heads off and fuckin smashed his face in. While he was withering away he was amazed at Bayonettas power, and hoped the creator Jubileus would grace her on her journey. Ho-kay.

OH. Somewhere along there Vigrid burned to the ground. Unfortunate.

I later ran into Luka again (<3). It sounds like he ultimately wants Bayonetta to fess up for what shes done, and he even called her a black stain on his life. Wah wah wah. Lets talk about the good stuff: Luka baited Bayonetta with lipstick, and when she picked it up he tried snapping photos of her. BUT THEN HE REALIZED HE HAD LIPSTICK DRAWN ALL OVER HIS FACE BECAUSE SHE DREW ON HIMMMMM.

what? It was adorable. Have I also mentioned Im in love with the way she calls him Chesire?

Towards the end of their encounter, while he was calling her a heartless witch, she tackled him, he grabbed her ass, and I think she saved him? Or something? Whatever. She ended up separating from him and killed a bunch of angels. Typical.

Finally, I ran into Jeanne again. She was speaking with an uber green angel-dude (maybe Jubileus?) and he asked her why they were meddling. When she spotted Bayonetta, she said that her assistance was not required. Now, according to Jeanne she and Bayonetta once fought for the jewel upon the crown of the umbra throne. Okay, cool story bro. So they decided right then and therein front of uber green angel dude to finish the fight. Once they were going at it, uber green angel-dude meddled himself and they were briefly interrupted. Ultimately, I pwnd Jeanne. But she was a loser and said that it was a waste of her time, turned into a flying thing and flew away.

Bayonetta promptly turned into apanther of sorts.and the chapter ended.

This game gets weirder and weirder, but I am having SO much fun with it, especially since I took the difficulty down a notch. Im able to button mash, not die AND enjoy the story and the characters without sweating each battle. Consequently (or not, depending on how you look at it) Im whizzing through the chapters faster than I anticipated, but whatever. Arkham City comes out next Tuesday, so its probably for the best!




  1. The story is really over the top and I think throughout all of their games, but gameplay is amazing! I wonder if a stronger writer would make the game even better.

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