I never stop to think about who reads—or who might stumble across—this website. I mean, it’s a public thing. It’s out there. I’m sure if a prospective employer wanted to internet-stalk me by Googling my name this site would pop up somewhere down the line and I could be ultimately judged based off of the content I post. Co-workers, friends, family, people I haven’t talked to in years may be reading these words right now—but I never actually think about that.
Example: I was all “LOLBWUUUH?” when a co-worker found my website and told me they had watched some of my vlogs.
Flattering, right? RIGHT?
Eeeh….you see, at work it’s weird to me when a co-worker tells me they’ve seen the stuff I do for numerous reasons. One being that I work with a bunch of gossipy women who thrive in the apparent thrill of discussing others’ lives all day. So, this leads me to believe that I’m being, uh, internet stalked.
Co-worker: I FOUND YOUR WEBSITE!
Me: ::wants desperately to ask, “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND IT? Did you Google my name? Are you following me on Twitter? You talk crap about me all of the time. WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING MY LIFE?!”::
Me: ::actually says:: Oh, really? Haaaa.
Co-worker: …why are you acting awkward?
To answer the Queen B’s question: Well, besides that obvious she’s-a-biatch-and-anything-I-tell-her-will-be-retold-to-her-little-cult-of-crazy-women angle, when someone from work tells me they’ve been on my website a million things go through my head. What did they read? Do I have anything on there that’s inappropriate? Wait, it doesn’t matter if it’s inappropriate. It’s my damn website. WAIT. Did I trash-talk them in a post? How did they find it?
I guess I’m still new to this whole “I have a public website” thing. It’s only been up for, what, six and a half months or so? And it’s definitely not that I’m embarrassed of what I post on here—otherwise I wouldn’t post the things that I do—but I guess it IS a little weird when people you try to, um, avoid randomly tell you they’re following everything you do on your website.
And yes, I realize the irony of this entire post because the co-worker I just referred to as a Queen B could be reading this right now.
But I tend to act a little awkward even when a casual friend asks me about my website. Definitely not for the same reasons I listed above, but here’s an example for you: Last week I was at a friend’s graduation celebration. It was very low-key with barbeque, beer and all that good stuff. I was standing amongst ten or so people when someone asked me about my website in front of her sisters and their children.
Her: So, how’s the site coming along? The…nerdy blonde? What’s it called?
Her: Right! My daughter told me about it. She saw it on Facebook.
Me: It’s coming along great! It’s fun.
Sister #1: What’s your website about?
Sister #2: That’s interesting! What do you write about?
Me: Oh, About the games I’m playing, thoughts on the industry, random stuff…y’know!
Kid #1: Have you played minecraft?
Me: Nooope. I want to though.
Everyone ::quiet because they don’t know what minecraft is::
Sister #2: …do you get paid for your site?
Me: Nope! Just something I do for fun. It’d be nice if it turned into something someday.
Everyone:::ran out of things to say::
Me: ::die of awkwardness::
Guys, I can’t tell you how much I wanted to gush on and on about inFAMOUS, or my woman cave, or whatever else it is I write about, but knowing they wouldn’t know anything I’d be talking about stopped me. I mean, I’d feel awkward being “that girl” if I yabbed on and on forever about something nobody knew about. So, I tend to keep my answers short and sweet to avoid any awkwardness. Unfortunately, it always winds up being awkward in one way or another.
Now, if a fellow gaming enthusiast approached me and asked me about my website, or gaming in general, I could blab on forever, because I wouldn’t have to worry about someone not understand when I say a big word (like, PS3). On the other hand, if someone approached me, knew nothing about gaming but was thoroughly intrigued, I’d end up spilling my guts as well.
After the barbeque, when everyone was leaving, the woman that originally asked me about my website approached me and asked in a quiet voice, “I didn’t make things awkward for you when I brought up your website, did I sweetie?”
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ::shoots self::
My name is Brittney Brombacher, and my own website makes me act awkward.