I am Preparing for Battle

(Play this song while reading this post. It makes it that much better. Then continue listening to it afterwards because it’s that awesome) 

My friends, in two days I will fight in an epic battle. This will not be a short battle–oh no—this will be an on-going battle that will require hours of tactics, buffers and possible back up.

I will go against two of my arch enemies (no pun intended) in a struggle that will extend into the new year.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet my opponent:

…I mean, opponents: 

YEAH FRICKEN RIGHT. 

Whoever invented the idea of wearing hooker heels on New Year’s Eve deserves to be punched in the lungs.

You guys, I’m not Bayonetta. I don’t gallant around in heels, let alone ones that make me push the boundaries of 6’. But damn! The only fem-shoes being sold during the winter season are these friggen’ platformers!

(Ha. For once, the word “Platformers” is on my blog and not related to the videogame genre. Siiiigh. :/)

As you can tell, I have these weapons of mass destruction perched on my desk in hopes that I’ll, like, be able to mentally beat them down and own them on New Year’s Eve with the assistance of gel-inserts (my buffers), flats (back up) and the occasional placing of my arse on a chair (tactics). 

I hope all of you have a fantastic and safe New Year, and let me know what you plan to do!

 

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  • dmann

    I know how you can make it with the heels, and nerd it up at the same time.

    LIGHTSABER CANE!

    And have duel of fates constantly playing on an MP3 player…

    • DUDE! Best idea ever! Now where can I find one…

      • dmann

        *checks his pockets of holding*

        Rubber chicken, Plushies, Wolpertinger.

        *shrugs and pulls out an anvil*

        Sorry, no idea. But you MUST nerd it up…

  • Nick

    Electric Tea Garden in Capitol Hill. With enough booze, I might even dance!

    • Ah…the power of booze ;)Have fun on good ol’ Capitol Hill!

  • Boots_33

    You were totally right. The song made this so much better of a read!

    I do not envy the ladyness of your NYE plans. Most likely, I’ll be in the Bootcave just drinking alone. The exciting life of Boots… 😛

    But hey, could be worse. I could have to wear those demon heels of yours, hahaha.

    • Hey, the Bootcave is your man cave. Therefore it is infinitely awesome. Which means there’s nothing wrong with staying in there!

  • Enjoyed the music. No comment on shoes.

    • You’re just jelly.

  • Brombrom

    That song played when doing the final class quest battle for my sith warrior.

    Yay Darth title.

    • I’m sorry, what? Did you write something? I’m still waiting for you to come to Washington.

  • Bradley

    Godspeed in your battle. I plan on house party with my friends, video games and nerd movies galore. Just got home from Mission Impossible 4, it was exciting. Just as exciting were trailers for Expendables 2, GI Joe 2 and…Oh my gosh… AVENGERS!

    Now this song is pushing me over the excitement edge…time to grab my samurai sword and make lightsaber sound effects!

    • Thank you Bradley. I will need all of the well-wishes I can get.

      Also, you are amazing.

  • James

    I’m gunna be crawling down a 100 floor dungeon for a RARE SWORD! My allies will be coffee,cheeseburgers and bubblegum.

  • Well, it seems you survived! Haha, such a brave lady!