March 12, 2012: OHAI, Pallet Town!
I have serious issues staying committed to handheld games. No matter how great the game is, if it’s a handheld exclusive, the odds of me completing it are like 18%. I’d rather play something on a nice, big, BRIGHT television—which is why I thank God daily for the Super Game Boy.
And thanks to the Super Game Boy I once made ample progress in Pokemon Blue, but I never finished the damn game.I remember becoming frustrated with it because I couldn’t understand WHY my Charizard wouldn’t pay attention to me. ::sadface:: I also had this misconstrued thought that Pokemon Blue was a HUGE game—probably because the amount of catchable Pokemon appeared intimidating—aaand I thought I’d never finish, so I gave up. And was probably introduced to something shiny like Earthbound or Harvest Moon. BUT ALL OF THAT’S GOING TO CHANGE! I AM GOING TO REDEEM MYSELF AND FINALLY CATCH MAH POKEMONZ!!! OOHRAH!!! Yesterday I started Pokemon Blue on Super Game Boy. And now that I’m older and, uh, wiser, I understand Pokemon Blue really isn’t that big of an undertaking. Now I’m hooked. ABSOLUTLEY hooked. I think I spent a total of nearly five hours yesterday, and within that time I defeated two gym leaders and caught about 15 Pokemon. I’m telling you it has been a LONG time since I experienced nostalgia like that. From the opening theme to the battle music, I felt like every five minutes I was snapping photos and squealing over something or another. I didn't know this, but you can catch Pikachu in Viridian Forest--although they're very rare. Since I never caught one in my prior play through I figured I'd give it some effort. And by some effort I mean I would wander around for over an hour. Finally, after many Caterpies and Weedles...
WOOHOO! I caught that bitch! I planned on using him a lot during the game, but I quickly discovered he really ain't all that and a bag of chips. Buuuut I knew I would need to level him for the battle with Misty--and while I was doing that I came across ANOTHER freakin' Pikachu!On a final note, I'm really enjoying the simplicity. Playing an old school GameBoy game like Pokemon Blue is like a cleanse for the nerdy soul; everything is so cut and dry and what you see is what you get. There aren't any future DLC packs to worry about, no patches to download and no updates to install everytime you turn on the system. <3333.
March 20th, 2012: GO FISH, GO!!Y’know, it’s kind of hard to write about one’s progress in Pokémon! I mean, it’s not like the story is super complex with uber-layers and there isn’t a heckuva lot to do besides wander around, defeat gym leaders and, well, catch Pokémon. That being said, I spent a few hours last week catching these mystical creatures I would give my right testicle to bring into IRL. Seriously. I wish Pokémon were real so hard—but what’s weird is I used to want an IRL Koffing. I thought the little ball of gas would be extremely fun to play with. Magikarp Gyarados, I’m currently rolling with Charmeleon (duh), a level 20 Pikachu, level 29 Dugtrio, a level 10 Sandshrew and a level 10 Bellsprout. I have a Geodude being watched by the daycare. ::cue cheesy smile and thumb-up signs:: GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL! ….Unfortunately I think I’ve caught, like, 30.
April 10th, 2012: Creepy ChannelersI'm still playing Pokemon Blue! But man, like I've said a million times before, it's a hard game to write about. It's like, "Ho-kay, I want to the Pokemon Tower and defeated a bunch of Channelers and fought a butt-load of Gastlys. After that I put Cubone's mother, Marowak, to rest and saved Mr. Fuiji which gave me the Poke Flute so I can wake Snorlax up!" OH! I fought Gary. Again. I also caught a Haunter. He absolutely murdered everyone at that dojo in Saffron City. Now I believe I'm in Silph Co, trying to level up my ish so I can fight Sabrina because DAAAMN her Pokemon are high leveled! I think all of them are above 38, and I think Charry (Charizard) is at 41, 42 and Gary (Gyarados) is around 38? All the rest are below that. Enggggh.
April 24th, 2012: Syphilis Co.YEAH SILPH CO! I went through you and dominated you and all of your stupid Team Rocket intruders! YEAH! …honestly, I’m not even sure what Silph co is. I just know Team Rocket was trying to, like, take over the place for immoral reasons and/or purposes. But alas, I pwn’d Giovanni – OH! Here’s a description courtesy of Bulbapedia
Silph Co. is the leading manufacturer of Pokémon technology. It is this company that develops the most commercially used Poké Balls, constantly looking for ways to improve upon them. Silph is also known to produce several other Pokémon-related items, including medicine and Technical Machines, supplying Poké Marts of their territory. Its president is a kind, old man.
Alrighty, then. The kind, old president gave me a Master Ball and his sexy assistant told me she admired my courage. I gotta be honest, the very first thing that went through my mind was "PSSSSH. Save that line for Link!" but I didn't say it out loud nor did I entertain that thought anymore because I didn't want to embarrass myself.
I left Syphilis Co and fought Sabrina, and the fight was epically easy thanks to Haunter -- who has become one of my favorite Pokémon EVER – and Gary…I mean, Gyarados. Yes. I’ve become one of those nutjobs who give nicknames to their Pokémonz.Ash then received an *ahem* upgrade, one of which I will refrain from making sexual remarks about: I then caught a Krabby and captured a Weepinbell. And all I will say about that Pokemon is "DSL". Don't know what DSL stands for? No, it's not what you think. Google it.
May 1st, 2012: Safari Zone!I shall update you of the progress I have made in Pokémon Blue with the help of many photos: I caught a Venonat. That itself isn't very exciting, but I'm just throwing this out there – if a 3’3”, 66 lb BUG approached me I would probably drop to the floor and begin seizing. Seriously. I’m not the biggest fan of huge insects, especially when they’re the size of a toddler. Like, the eyes…THE EYES. OH MY GOD THE EYES. Little Charry is growing up so fast and is becoming so powerful. Before I know it he’ll be moving out and living his own life. Little does he know I always have the power to force him into a small round red and white ball at all times. Pimp. I couldn’t help myself. It was time to explore the beloved Safari Zone! I faintly remember this area from my first play through way back when, but I had forgotten how much patience it requires! Like, if you want to catch a Chansey you better have a never-ending supply of three things: beer, hot wings and water. The hot wings to provide nutrients, the beer to help the time go by faster and the water to hydrate you from said beer and hot wings. Anywho, I didn’t catch a Chansey, Kangaskhan, Dratini or Tauros. There might have been more, but I was running out of patience HARD. Apparently one trick is to throw a rock as it increases your chance of catching it, but also increases the chance it will run away. But again, my patience was running thin sooo whatever. I have a badass line-up already! After I ran out of patience at the Safari Zone I headed to Mr. Koga, who I “dares” to challenged him. He was pretty easy to defeat, actually. Like I said above I have a badass line-up of Pokémon – Charizard, Haunter, Gyarados and, a Pokémon I haven’t talked about yet, Zapdos. And because my line-up is so well off I’ve found myself kind of giving up trying to catch every Pokémon I can. It was a fun goal at first, but anymore it seems kind of pointless. This is a weird character. It might be hard to tell from the photo, but when it walks it looks like it has a Pidgey’s body or something. And that’s all I have to say about that. Next up: ZAPDOS!!!
May 9th, 2012: Zapdos, you suck in the best way possible.
Catching Zapdos was a BITCHHHHHHH.I will now present to you a plethora of photos depicting my battle with the legendary bastard. Please feel free to come to your own conclusions.