WTF Mario Kart 8?!

(Story of my Mario Kart 8 life ^)

UGHHHH just watching that raises my frustration and anxiety level to ungodly levels.  On that note, let’s talk about Mario Kart for a moment.

::puffs chest out:: Back in my day I was the QUEEN of Mario Kart…er, Mario Kart SNES, that is. That game was my jam. There wasn’t an opponent I couldn’t outrace, a track I couldn’t master. Hell Rainbow Road wasn’t even that tough. But unfortunately that’s kinda where I stopped playing Mario Kart regularly (I’d play MK64 and Double Dash occasionally at a friend’s house or something) until Mario Kart Wii. And even then I even kicked ass at that, after all of those long, sad, Mario Kart-less years. So I assumed the uh, assumption, that I was just naturally a talented Mario Kart player.

Then came along Mario Kart 8.

“This will be fun,” I said. “I’m going to outrace ALL OF THE PEOPLE,” I said. “But first I’ll get the gist of everything by racing against AI,” I said.

Guys, I fucking got ROCKED. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG.

Am I just getting old? Or has this game became immensely more difficult? I felt like every race was like the video above.  Maybe I enounctered a seriously bad stain of luck, but man, I haven’t raged that hard in a LONG time. In fact, I raged so hard I have yet to pick the game back up.

Help.

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  • Boots_33

    Pretty sure the truth is finally being revealed…

    You’re bad at games without romance options.

    • wastedkitten

      Truth!

    • InertiaBrien

      Lol!

  • InertiaBrien

    I’ve been playing with my lady. What we’ve noticed is that the AIs tend to swarm, and when one of us falls into that swarm, that person gets bombarded just like poor Daisy there. If we stay a few paces ahead of the pack, or fall behind the same measure, we are spared such abysmal fates.

  • beau peterson

    I’ve never played double dash… I still have the ability, the GC is hooked up, just have to find a copy – MK64 was all about the battle, me and my sis would play e’re day (hated donut track)