WTF Mario Kart 8?!

(Story of my Mario Kart 8 life ^)

UGHHHH just watching that raises my frustration and anxiety level to ungodly levels.  On that note, let’s talk about Mario Kart for a moment.

::puffs chest out:: Back in my day I was the QUEEN of Mario Kart…er, Mario Kart SNES, that is. That game was my jam. There wasn’t an opponent I couldn’t outrace, a track I couldn’t master. Hell Rainbow Road wasn’t even that tough. But unfortunately that’s kinda where I stopped playing Mario Kart regularly (I’d play MK64 and Double Dash occasionally at a friend’s house or something) until Mario Kart Wii. And even then I even kicked ass at that, after all of those long, sad, Mario Kart-less years. So I assumed the uh, assumption, that I was just naturally a talented Mario Kart player.

Then came along Mario Kart 8.

“This will be fun,” I said. “I’m going to outrace ALL OF THE PEOPLE,” I said. “But first I’ll get the gist of everything by racing against AI,” I said.

Guys, I fucking got ROCKED. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG.

Am I just getting old? Or has this game became immensely more difficult? I felt like every race was like the video above.  Maybe I enounctered a seriously bad stain of luck, but man, I haven’t raged that hard in a LONG time. In fact, I raged so hard I have yet to pick the game back up.

Help.

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