Portal 2 Made Me Do Something I Regret. Kind Of.

Ah, Portal 2: The shortest game that’s taken me the longest to finish.

I am lacking in the motivation department when it comes to finishing this bad boy. It actually requires me to THINK (God forbid) and that’s the last thing I feel like doing after a full day of work—because let’s face it—some of those “testing chambers” are downright challenging. Either that, or you’re too much of a herp-de-derp like I am to understand the solution to the puzzle is staring right at you. Like  in Chamber 18. I DIDN’T REALIZE THE BRIDGE COULD BE PORTAL’D. JDJKAJFLDKALKDFD.

Ahem.

Also, there’s also this little part about how I haven’t spent a weekend home in over three weeks. Soooo my gaming time has been cut down quite a bit.

Do you want to hear something kind of depressing? I started Portal 2 on July 30th. And for those not in front of a calendar, today is September 2nd. Yeeeaaaah. Also, if you really want a feel for how messed up this is, I finished Dragon Age II in less time than it’s taken me to get to the final chapter of Portal 2. HAHAHAHAHA ::headdesk::

So last night, in an act of pure desperation I did something…shameful. Something I kind of regret (but not really).

…I went to Youtube and watched walkthrough videos for Chambers 18-20.

You guys, my gamer pride took a beating. I’m supposed to be the almighty Britt! Know-er of all things videogame! Solver of all puzzles, pwn’er of all mystical creatures! But alas, I couldn’t figure out how to get a stupid cube on a stupid platform in a stupid chamber designed by a stupid robot.

BOO, GLaDOS, BOO!

Guys, I typically try not to use guides of any sort while playing a game. I like to figure things out for myself, or with a friend if they’re watching. Guides spoil things and that makes me sad. And they make me feel like less of a…man? Can I say that without it being weird? Anyway, this time I had to make an exception. Portal 2 has held me back from playing other game simply because I can’t stand the thought of playing something else when this game is uber-near completion. And if I can’t finish the game in a month, something’s gotta give, nahm’sayin?

Thankfully, I’ve now reached the “free-roam” section of Portal 2, so it’s a nice and VERY welcomed breather from the typical “OHAI let me shoot my orange hole over there so I can walk through my blue hole and ultimately get burned by lasers which will cause me to fall into the water and  die” routine.

That being said, I have full intentions to beat this game today. Like, within an hour. That would make me super duper happy and then I could move onto something else. Like, L.A. Noire, Panzer Dragoon Saga or God of War. Yes, God of War. The first one. Don’t hate me.

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  • Dave

    Have you tried Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth?

    Awesome.

    • Britt

      I haven’t! But you’re definitely not the first to say that. I might just have to.

  • BurritoDePerro

    Wait, it took you a month to beat Portal and you’re thinking on playing L.A Noire just before the holiday season mega-game-extravaganza begins? that game is very long…and very slow. Go play GoW instead

    • Britt

      Meeeeeeeh. Good point.

  • Jason

    Wait…so did you just get to the part with Cave Johnson?

  • Glados is a rather odd gaming character. Reminds me of Edi from Mass Effect 2 for some reason.

    Wait wait wait, Britt hasn’t played God of war?
    That’s like saying you’ve never seen 300.
    But we can’t hate you or your shenanigans Britt.

  • Bradley

    I am going to have to use a guide to complete the first Assassin’s Creed. CURSE YOU WATER! I still love you Britt and will not judge because I am not better.

  • BIlly

    If you think Portal 2 is difficult, give Catherine a shot. That will really test your will not to use youtube.

  • Boots_33

    Tsk tsk…

    I am debating if I should dock you on your Gamer Cred or not. This will require some thinking.

    Haha, in all honesty, it’s fine. Games are about fun, and if doing so makes the game more fun for ya, I have no problems.

    P.S. Thanks again for letting me hang with you guys at PAX. That was an awesome weekend. 🙂

  • A guide?! I believed in you almighty Britt. *takes off fan t-shirt with Britt’s face on the front*

    Nah, just kidding. As long as you finish it so you can move on to other games. I think you’ll enjoy the Cave Johnson sections. I laughed so hard when he says something.

  • Matt Jones

    Dang, I beat Portal 2 both single player and multiplayer (with my brother) while holding down a full time job and attending MBA classes one night a week. And you cheated?

    Turn in your man card, Britt.

    • Matt Jones

      I forgot to mention, I beat it all in under a week so I could return my used copy to Gamestop and get all my moneys back lol.