Pick a Box, Any Box…


steam boxes

Yesterday evening Valve showcased 14 Steam Machines during their oh-so-short (I heard it was like, seven minutes)(SEVEN MINUTES OF GABEN THAT IS) CES press conference. This goes without saying, but what makes these Steam Machines is that they run SteamOS and, well, you better prepare your wallet ‘cuz these bad boys range from $499 to….are you ready for it…SIX MOTHERFUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS. ;_____; 

If you want to take a look at each individual model and their respective specs/price, head over to IGN and please interpret all of that PC talk if you don’t mind. I clearly didn’t put enough comprehensive skill points in the “Tech Spec Lingo” category while I was incubating in my mother’s womb. Anyway, after the reveals I find myself asking the million dollar question:

What type of trimming does Alistair enjoy in his nether region?

HAHAHAHA. Oh, shit. So sorry. But seriously, the true question is whether or not I need a Steam Machine. My first instinct is to scream “YES!” and pre-order the shit out of everything (because that’s just what I do) but when I break it down I truly can’t say it would make much sense. For one, I have all of my consoles, past and current gen, in the living room. Two, I recently splurged on an Alienware laptop so I can partake in some high-end PC gaming whenever I get the bug. (Dragon Age and The Witcher may or many not have had most of everything to do with aforementioned Alienware purchase.)

So, right. I can’t think of why I would need a Steam Machine other than to say I’ve dinked around and have experienced one. And admittedly that alien-chest-looking controller has my interest piqued all to hell, but..but I JUST DON’T NEED ONE. Unless I’m missing something, that is. Let me know what you think about the Steam Machines and if you plan to pick one up when they’re ready for release.


I…I have to get my hands on this.

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