Not Another Castle

dorkly princess comicHAHAHAHA. HA.

That was good. Maybe it’s because it’s, oh, 1:00 am at the time I’m writing this NOT TO MENTION I’m going on 19 hours of no sleep (I’M A PANSY) but it took a while to understand the gravity of the situation. Like, Mario absorbed the 100 coins like a sponge and was all, “OH HEY! It’s in my nature to now earn a 1-up!” so that’s totally what he did, but the PROBLEM with that (because there’s totally a problem) is now Peach’s Shy Guy ransom biznatches don’t have the coinage they requested. So, you can consider Peach to be a goner. Not only that, but because Mario and Toad made the biggest fuck up of their lives (REALLY TOAD? “OH LET’S HAND MARIO 100 COINS BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A BRAIN BECAUSE IT’S A MUSHROOM JUST KIDDING IT’S A HAT BUT I STILL DON’T HAVE A BRAIN”) the dynamic duo of plumber and fungi kicked the bucket and shall also join Peach as worm fodder.

BUT HERE’S THE CATCH. Because Mario was Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants McGee and absorbed the aforementioned 100 coin ransom (thus gaining the 1-up) he spawned after dying. So, now we have a living Mario without his buddy Toad or his fuck buddy Peach to keep him company on those lone nights in the Mushroom Kingdom. I guess there’s always Bowser and Daisy. GO FOR THE REBOUND BRO.

You’re totally welcome for that sweet explanation.

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