Britt5091 Origins: Bioshock: My Tale of Being a Pansy

Welcome to Britt5091: Origins, where I dig up old blog posts I used to write for IGN’s community under the username Britt5091. Some posts may make you giggle, some may make your eyes bleed, and some may make you stroke your beard in a pensive manner. All you need to know is that these posts, no matter how terrible some of them may be, ultimately lead to everything I do now.

My Tale of Being a Pansy

November 13th, 2009

Ever heard of a game called Bioshock? Sure you have. And I’m sure the majority of you got your hands on it when released a few years back, ammirite? Anyway, I first attempted to play Bioshock a year ago. I maybe, maybe, got an hour into it before I had to shelve it. Why would I do that to such a great game?

This is embarrassing, but hell I’ve admitted worse on here before.

Bioshock freaked me out.

You have to remember that FPS were not my forte. I could count on one hand the amount of FPS I had attempted (yes, attempted) to get into. You should also know that I am a wuss that LOVES scary films but squirms watching them through the spaces in my fingers.

Mix the anxiety of an unfamiliar genre with enemy lunatics called Splicers that were constantly sneaking up on me and jumping and why do they look like that—

You get it.

That game was put away faster than one could say ‘Big Daddy’. I knew it was a genre that would need to be tackled, wrestled to the ground and conquered someday. But for the time being, I went back to what I knew. RPGs, action/adventure, old school survival horror (RE, Silent Hill) and good ol’ platforming.

Months passed, and never forgotten was my humiliating defeat to the shooter genre. 2K’s underwater venture, however, was simply forgotten.

It was around this time I picked up my PS3. Are you ready for some irony?

One of the first games I picked up was Dead Space.

Really? Dead Space? Looking back on it now, I laugh. I couldn’t finish freakin’ Bioshock but was able to muster through Dead Space.


Hmmm, I’d rather pick a fight with the dude on the right.

I also played through Modern Warfare and spent much time with Halo: ODST. This in turn honed my FPS/TPS skills and I am now comfortable with the genre.

So when I was hit with a nasty cold/flu last week, in went Bioshock and after two days of shooting, electrocuting and incinerating I finally accomplished what I couldn’t a year ago with ease.

Bioshock provided a different experience than anything I’ve played before. The 1960’s setting of Rapture is simply awesome, from the superb music and sound to the unique dialogue and solid story. It all goes so well together, it makes you feel like a place like Rapture could actually exist, or at least be made into a Pirates of the Caribbean Disneyland ride spoof.

Weapon of choice? The wrench. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing more satisfying than whacking Splicers while listening to the sweet symphony of ballroom music in the background. That being said, I found that the wrench quickly became the most effective weapon (for me anyway) and I wish I had the personal discipline to use more of the firearms outside of the necessary moments (security cams, bots, etc).

Looking back, it strikes me as funny that a game such as Bioshock once gave me the heebie-jeebies. It?s interesting how each game we play ‘evolves us’ so to speak. My situation here is a perfect example. Dead Space killed any chance ‘human’ enemies now have (such as those in Bioshock and Resident Evil 4/5) to make the hair on my neck stand up. And Modern Warfare helped me adjust to the anxiety I faced while playing fast paced shooter. After completing these two, I had absolutely no problem with Bioshock.

Yeah. I’m such a badass now.

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Update: April 4th, 2013

Okay, this is too funny. I haven’t done a “Britt5091 Origins” post in four months (my bad) and it just so happens that this was the next post in queue. “But Britt, that’s not funny!” No, and neither is this, but I just wrapped up Bioshock Infinite last night! What are the odds, mang?!

For sure, the Bioshock series has a freaky-deaky somethin’ somethin’ about them. I still haven’t played Bioshock 2, but there’s just somethingabout the first and Infinite that, at times, made me think to myself, “Damn, this IS creepy!” Perhaps it’s the unsettling early to mid 1900’s music, or maybe it’s how dead bodies are strewn everywhere amongst happy posters and talking vending machines.

But in any case, I personally think Bioshock Infinite far surpasses the first Bioshock. I WANT LESBIAN SEX WITH ELIZABETH.

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  • Jaym Esch

    I am SO there with you regarding Elizabeth. Everyone can stop trying- they’ve created the perfect (fictional) computer game hottie.

    Where do I find my own real-life Elizabeth to throw ammo and sex- er, salts- at me? (Although, since I don’t use guns and don’t need extra salt, I suppose it’d be more throwing Starbucks mochas and computer games at me)… >_>