Apparently My Website Makes Me Act Awkward

I never stop to think about who readsor who might stumble acrossthis website. I mean, its a public thing. Its out there. Im sure if a prospective employer wanted to internet-stalk me by Googling my name this site would pop up somewhere down the line and I could be ultimately judged based off of the content I post. Co-workers, friends, family, people I havent talked to in years may be reading these words right now—but I never actually think about that.

Example: I was all LOLBWUUUH? when a co-worker found my website and told me they had watched some of my vlogs.

Flattering, right? RIGHT?

Eeeh.you see, at work its weird to me when a co-worker tells me theyve seen the stuff I do for numerous reasons. One being that I work with a bunch of gossipy women who thrive in the apparent thrill of discussing others lives all day. So, this leads me to believe that Im being, uh, internet stalked.

Co-worker: I FOUND YOUR WEBSITE!

Me: ::wants desperately to ask, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND IT? Did you Google my name? Are you following me on Twitter? You talk crap about me all of the time. WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING MY LIFE?!::

Me: ::actually says:: Oh, really? Haaaa.

Co-worker: why are you acting awkward?

To answer the Queen Bs question: Well, besides that obvious shes-a-biatch-and-anything-I-tell-her-will-be-retold-to-her-little-cult-of-crazy-women angle, when someone from work tells me theyve been on my website a million things go through my head. What did they read? Do I have anything on there thats inappropriate? Wait, it doesn’t matter if its inappropriate. Its my damn website. WAIT. Did I trash-talk them in a post? How did they find it?

I guess Im still new to this whole I have a public website thing. Its only been up for, what, six and a half months or so? And its definitely not that Im embarrassed of what I post on hereotherwise I wouldn’t post the things that I dobut I guess it IS a little weird when people you try to, um, avoid randomly tell you theyre following everything you do on your website.

And yes, I realize the irony of this entire post because the co-worker I just referred to as a Queen B could be reading this right now.

But I tend to act a little awkward even when a casual friend asks me about my website. Definitely not for the same reasons I listed above, but heres an example for you:  Last week I was at a friends graduation celebration. It was very low-key with barbeque, beer and all that good stuff. I was standing amongst ten or so people when someone asked me about my website in front of her sisters and their children.

Her: So, hows the site coming along? Thenerdy blonde? Whats it called?

Me: Hablondenerd.com

Her: Right! My daughter told me about it. She saw it on Facebook.

Me: Its coming along great! Its fun.

Sister #1: Whats your website about?

Me: Videogames

Sister #2: Thats interesting! What do you write about?

Me: Oh, About the games Im playing, thoughts on the industry, random stuffyknow!

Kid #1: Have you played minecraft?

Me: Nooope. I want to though.

Everyone ::quiet because they don’t know what minecraft is::

Sister #2: do you get paid for your site?

Me: Nope! Just something I do for fun. Itd be nice if it turned into something someday.

Everyone:::ran out of things to say::

Me: ::die of awkwardness::

Guys, I cant tell you how much I wanted to gush on and on about inFAMOUS, or my woman cave, or whatever else it is I write about, but knowing they wouldnt know anything Id be talking about stopped me. I mean, Id feel awkward being that girl if I yabbed on and on forever about something nobody knew about. So, I tend to keep my answers short and sweet to avoid any awkwardness. Unfortunately, it always winds up being awkward in one way or another.

Now, if a fellow gaming enthusiast approached me and asked me about my website, or gaming in general, I could blab on forever, because I wouldnt have to worry about someone not understand when I say a big word (like, PS3). On the other hand, if someone approached me, knew nothing about gaming but was thoroughly intrigued, Id end up spilling my guts as well.

After the barbeque, when everyone was leaving, the woman that originally asked me about my website approached me and asked in a quiet voice, I didnt make things awkward for you when I brought up your website, did I sweetie?

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ::shoots self::

My name is Brittney Brombacher, and my own website makes me act awkward.

Dig my weirdness? Subscribe to my Youtube channel (below)!