Apparently My Website Makes Me Act Awkward

I never stop to think about who readsor who might stumble acrossthis website. I mean, its a public thing. Its out there. Im sure if a prospective employer wanted to internet-stalk me by Googling my name this site would pop up somewhere down the line and I could be ultimately judged based off of the content I post. Co-workers, friends, family, people I havent talked to in years may be reading these words right now—but I never actually think about that.

Example: I was all LOLBWUUUH? when a co-worker found my website and told me they had watched some of my vlogs.

Flattering, right? RIGHT?

Eeeh.you see, at work its weird to me when a co-worker tells me theyve seen the stuff I do for numerous reasons. One being that I work with a bunch of gossipy women who thrive in the apparent thrill of discussing others lives all day. So, this leads me to believe that Im being, uh, internet stalked.

Co-worker: I FOUND YOUR WEBSITE!

Me: ::wants desperately to ask, HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND IT? Did you Google my name? Are you following me on Twitter? You talk crap about me all of the time. WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING MY LIFE?!::

Me: ::actually says:: Oh, really? Haaaa.

Co-worker: why are you acting awkward?

To answer the Queen Bs question: Well, besides that obvious shes-a-biatch-and-anything-I-tell-her-will-be-retold-to-her-little-cult-of-crazy-women angle, when someone from work tells me theyve been on my website a million things go through my head. What did they read? Do I have anything on there thats inappropriate? Wait, it doesn’t matter if its inappropriate. Its my damn website. WAIT. Did I trash-talk them in a post? How did they find it?

I guess Im still new to this whole I have a public website thing. Its only been up for, what, six and a half months or so? And its definitely not that Im embarrassed of what I post on hereotherwise I wouldn’t post the things that I dobut I guess it IS a little weird when people you try to, um, avoid randomly tell you theyre following everything you do on your website.

And yes, I realize the irony of this entire post because the co-worker I just referred to as a Queen B could be reading this right now.

But I tend to act a little awkward even when a casual friend asks me about my website. Definitely not for the same reasons I listed above, but heres an example for you:  Last week I was at a friends graduation celebration. It was very low-key with barbeque, beer and all that good stuff. I was standing amongst ten or so people when someone asked me about my website in front of her sisters and their children.

Her: So, hows the site coming along? Thenerdy blonde? Whats it called?

Me: Hablondenerd.com

Her: Right! My daughter told me about it. She saw it on Facebook.

Me: Its coming along great! Its fun.

Sister #1: Whats your website about?

Me: Videogames

Sister #2: Thats interesting! What do you write about?

Me: Oh, About the games Im playing, thoughts on the industry, random stuffyknow!

Kid #1: Have you played minecraft?

Me: Nooope. I want to though.

Everyone ::quiet because they don’t know what minecraft is::

Sister #2: do you get paid for your site?

Me: Nope! Just something I do for fun. Itd be nice if it turned into something someday.

Everyone:::ran out of things to say::

Me: ::die of awkwardness::

Guys, I cant tell you how much I wanted to gush on and on about inFAMOUS, or my woman cave, or whatever else it is I write about, but knowing they wouldnt know anything Id be talking about stopped me. I mean, Id feel awkward being that girl if I yabbed on and on forever about something nobody knew about. So, I tend to keep my answers short and sweet to avoid any awkwardness. Unfortunately, it always winds up being awkward in one way or another.

Now, if a fellow gaming enthusiast approached me and asked me about my website, or gaming in general, I could blab on forever, because I wouldnt have to worry about someone not understand when I say a big word (like, PS3). On the other hand, if someone approached me, knew nothing about gaming but was thoroughly intrigued, Id end up spilling my guts as well.

After the barbeque, when everyone was leaving, the woman that originally asked me about my website approached me and asked in a quiet voice, I didnt make things awkward for you when I brought up your website, did I sweetie?

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ::shoots self::

My name is Brittney Brombacher, and my own website makes me act awkward.

Dig my weirdness? Subscribe to my Youtube channel (below)!

  • Quicksandbuddy

    Hate to say this, but I don’t see this post helping. This is only going to make things more awkward if you see these people again. And you KNOW they read your site. Better start reciting your awkward conversations now.

    Personally, I enjoyed this post. It perfectly captures the downside to blogging.

    • Britt

      Nah, I totally see what you’re saying. But this is my site, I say what I’m going to say—if it makes things awkward, then sheeeeyt. As long as I don’t do anything TOO stupid 😉

  • I feel ya. People think I am always holed up polishing my guns and sharpening my swords. Stay strong BlondeNerd… You’re gonna be fine. Now get up, get out there and Pewn sum noobs. Awkward my ass.

    • Britt

      LOL. <3.

  • E-TAW

    hahaha This is awesome. Especially since I know who you are referring to. A.) THEY SUCK; B.)THEY SUCK
    Anyways, so I have an idea. Next time someone at work asks you about gaming/your site, you should talk to them in so much detail about what you’re playing, woman cave, etc that they have no other choice then to walk away because they have no fucking clue what your are talking about. You know…just like how other people @ work talk about shit we could care less about. Okay, sorry, my rant is over.

    Just had a thought…I’m not part of the cult-of-crazy-women, am I? LOL
    Another thought, I don’t think you are awkward on your site, AT ALL.

    See ya tmrw.

    • Britt

      Oh, you. Shut up. <3. Stop by tomorrow!

  • Tim

    I might have to start a website. I always feel awkward at work (or just around people in general), but at least a site will let me have a reason for feeling it from time to time. 😉

    My guess is that who you are is reflected in this site and it just gives you a why of striking up conversations with people of similar interest, which is a good thing. People do it for sports and the such all the time. I want to say you shouldn’t feel awkward at all but I’m sure people who start up futball (Sounders) and find themselves in a Seahawks forever party might end up feeling awkward as well, so let me go with you are far from being alone. I have no idea if that helps at all, but hopefully it did (since trying to make you feel less awkward in those situations was the whole premise of this message to begin with).

    • Britt

      Start up a site. It’s awesome because it’s YOUR space and you can do *almost* whatever the heck you want to! Write about what you want…IT’S YOUR PIECE OF THE INTERNET >_< And I like the analogy! 😉

  • MovieGuru83

    I hate to point this out, considering you already mentioned that you realized the irony. But if she is reading this, you called her a bitch and your co-workers a cult of crazy women. Besides facing their wraith at work, you could get yourself into real trouble. People get fired all the time because of stuff they say on the internet, and acknowledging that you know she could be reading this would make a more sever punishment all the more likely.

    I think you have all the right in the world to say it all, I just really hope you don’t get into any trouble over it.

    I know exactly how you feel though, nobody around me in my everyday life understands me anywhere near as well as the friends I’ve made on the internet. Weather they be friends from IGN or elsewhere. Most of the people who know me best and talk to me most, I’ve never actually met…or have only met at PAX. It is somewhat helpful though, I’ve always been misunderstood by my family, but I think know they think it’s because they don’t understand my passion for video games. I know they wouldn’t understand me regardless, but at least I don’t have them bugging me try to understand anymore. It was always like talking to a wall trying to explain things to them.

    • Britt

      I didn’t mention any names, and this person doesn’t work directly with me, and I may or may not have left some specific details out. So, there isn’t any proof I’m talking about this person. Sneaky, I know, but hey. 🙂

      I got ya. It makes a difference if the person tries to understand and co-exists…but…if not, it reaches a whole ‘new level of awkwardness!

  • Nate “Shadow Hado”

    ZOMG you are so awkward lololololol

    Ok seriously now, with feeling.

    Personally, I think that THEY felt awkward bringing the subject up, and then tried to transfer it onto you. Much like you mentioned in your post, how in the world would someone from work even find it? Usually not even friends find this sort of thing without you giving them the address, or them already knowing it exists. I can tell you right now that if someone at my work asked me about something like this, I would have some serious problems with that person real fast. I’m not saying I would go ballistic, but I would have some issues with that person’s character… and it sounds like you already did prior to this happening. I’ve never searched friends or girlfriends or family or WHOEVER on google, let alone a co-worker I don’t get along with. There is only ONE reason you would do something like that to someone, and it’s not to send them cookies.

    Anywho, that’s the short version of how I see it. Just gotta keep on keepin’ on, lol. 🙂

    • Britt

      “I’ve never searched friends or girlfriends or family or WHOEVER on google, let alone a co-worker I don’t get along with. There is only ONE reason you would do something like that to someone, and it’s not to send them cookies.”

      QFT! Haha! But I didn’t think of it like that. The folks that WOULD be trying to send cookies might feel awkward, you’re right. Hmmm… ::scratches beard::

  • Jaym

    I was searching for several years on my first (and only serious) girlfriend simply to find out if she had kids. I *had* to know for some reason. But I was amazed to discover other than two or three posts of meeting minutes (she worked for a state) she did NOT exist online. No social media, no websites, nothing.

    However, I actually managed to tip off some classmates how to contact her through her work email (I mean, come on- they couldn’t find her, she worked for the state. If you do, your work email is lastname.firstname@state.gov is most instances. Sure enough, she ended up being “found”, and going to the 10 year reunion. Which I skipped.

    Then she joined Facebook and such, and I found out she did have kids. Which added to my already high depression, so in hindsight I should stick to stalking women I don’t know online. (That *is* the right moral to take from this story, right? Right?)

  • ZacTMac

    I couldn’t imagine trying to talk with my coworkers about games and zombies. But that is why I go to websites like yours. Probably one of the reasons you have this website. To have a place where people who care about the same things can share their ideas and experiences without worrying about people who don’t care.

    It’s usually awkward for me when I try to blend different aspects of my life together. For example, I had an accident recovery party years ago, and invited everyone who was important to me. But this unnaturally meshed parts of my life together, like my prankster graduate friends and my newly formed church friends. It felt very weird for me and I never tried it again.

    Thinking about my hobby life being introduced to my coworkers gives me the jibblies. That’s why I go to websites like yours to hear about Infamous and We’re Alive without worrying about awkwardness.

  • Manuel

    I don’t think you are awkward but awesomeness in person :)! And you’re website is incredible, I visit it once or twice a week!

  • Wait until you get recognized at a Starbucks!
    …the fact that I got recognized at all still puzzles me.

  • Brombrom

    And your gossipy co-workers wont read this post why?