A Pokémon Sex Package.

While my lil’ Pokémon shrine isn’t as organized as t it could be (I have a few stuffed animals and about three binders of cards laying around) I want you to inspect it for a second. JUST A SECOND.

Do you see that box on the left? The one that represents the color BLUE? The one that is sealed and says “GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!”?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS???

That, my friends, is a SEALED box containing 36 of the original Pokémon booster packs. I will keep the person who mailed me this sex package anonymous, but holy crap in a bucket — I was literally shaking with excitement as I discovered what was inside the shipping box. Like, I don’t even know if I’m making sense right now because I’m still THAT excited about it.

HNNNNNNNNGHHHHHHH!!!

Yes, I will open them and fulfill my bucket list item of opening an entire box of Pokémon cards whilst listening to the Pokémon theme. But for the time being, I want to just admire it; fantasize about what might be within. Let it plump up, if you will. (And you will.)

HOMYGOD. <3333333333333.

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