A Pokémon Sex Package.

While my lil’ Pokémon shrine isn’t as organized as t it could be (I have a few stuffed animals and about three binders of cards laying around) I want you to inspect it for a second. JUST A SECOND.

Do you see that box on the left? The one that represents the color BLUE? The one that is sealed and says “GOTTA CATCH ‘EM ALL!”?


That, my friends, is a SEALED box containing 36 of the original Pokémon booster packs. I will keep the person who mailed me this sex package anonymous, but holy crap in a bucket — I was literally shaking with excitement as I discovered what was inside the shipping box. Like, I don’t even know if I’m making sense right now because I’m still THAT excited about it.


Yes, I will open them and fulfill my bucket list item of opening an entire box of Pokémon cards whilst listening to the Pokémon theme. But for the time being, I want to just admire it; fantasize about what might be within. Let it plump up, if you will. (And you will.)

HOMYGOD. <3333333333333.

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  • Ryan Littlefield

    I was going to ask if that’s what that was before I even read the entry! THAT, my friend, is insane. I want you to do unspeakable things to yourself while you open that. You know I would. Hell, anyone would. Really savor it.

    • britt5091

      HAHAHAHA!!! Ryan, you can count on that!!!!!

  • It’s posts like this that make me wish I knew you in person. Have fun. I hope you got some really cool cards! (my mind drifts back to opening entire boxes of star wars game cards…….)

    • britt5091

      Aw, thanks Jeff! I will have an amazing time — I can promise you that!

  • Hey where did you get my childhood!?

    • britt5091


  • Pokemon card streaming party or something, stream it live and share it with the world.

    • britt5091

      Dude. Awesome idea!

      • Boots_33

        Just make sure that song is on repeat. It will add to the silly.