Bayonetta Log #3: Me Likey

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something about this game makes me want to keep coming back for more. Perhaps it’s the quirky character of Bayonetta, the outrageous ass shots (a great possibility), the crackhead-esque button mashing or maybe a combination of all three, but holy hell I’m having so much fun!

…That being said, I’ve only finished the prologue. Bahaha. What can I say, I’m easy to please!

In the last entry I noted I had some difficulty finding out where the hell I was supposed to go in order to find Enzo. Well, funny story; there was a big gaping hole in the fence. Actually–and I shouldn’t admit this to you—the gaping hole is visible in the last picture I posted for the previous entry. HAHAHAHA ::headdesk::

During the prologue pieces of Bayonetta’s back story were revealed, and because they were so vague it’s easier to use bullet points sooo that’s what I’m going to do. Go ahead, call me a lazy bastard.  (Also I didn’t write any notes down; this is all from memory. There may or may not be errors below. So sue me. ;D)

  • Bayonetta apparently woke up on the bottom of an ocean—in a coffin specifically and all she can remember is that she is a witch.
  • Enzo (the little fat fuck) is retrieving information for her. But as to what kind of information I’m not so sure. The last thing I remember was Enzo relaying a jewel of sorts had the black market in a frenzy because it was worth an ass-ton. Speaking of Enzo, I remember he said something LIKE Bayonetta kills the divine for a living, or in order to stay alive, or something. Yeeaaaah.
  • While Enzo and Bayonetta were in a car, an airplane crashed and another woman showed up (I don’t remember her name). She and Bayonetta had a stand off of sorts when those white witch/angel-y folks appeared and they pwn’d them. Afterwards it looked like they had business to settle, but the other chick fled. Was she the chick from the intro, perhaps?
  • There were also several flashbacks to Bayonetta as a statue (at least she sure looked like one). There were also flashbacks of that other aforementioned woman in the same statue-y pose.
  • And finally—and this is the most important thing that occurred while playing last night—I was practicing my combos during the loading screen (nice feature, by the way) when BLAMMO Bayonetta’s clothes went away! Like, vanished. She was nekkid (kind of) and I screamed “HOLY BALLS!”  …that was a cool story, right bro?

So I pretty much have no idea whatsoever what’s going on. Several of you have told me that even AFTER finishing Bayonetta you still didn’t know what you had done or what the point of the game had been, so that’s super-uber reassuring!

Haaaaaaaa.

Dig my weirdness? Subscribe to my Youtube channel (below)!