Boyfriends: Remember This

 

BAHAHAHAHAHA. 

To my male readers: Sometimes I feel sorry for you and I hereby apologize on behalf of my gender. But I hope the next time your significant other asks if they look fat in a certain piece of apparel (seriously—do girls really ask their man that?) you’ll remember this post and run.

Or you can try to pass a charisma check and lie.

OR, you can tell her, “Fuck bitch I’m eating Cheetos!” That one always goes over well! ;D

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  • Napoleon1066

    My wife has never, ever asked me this question.

    If she did… the proper response is to refuse to look, and say, “I know you didn’t just ask me that, so I’m just going to assume you offered to make me a sandwich. Ham would be fine.”

    • Britt

      BAHAHAHAHAHA. Napo, I <3 you.

  • Boots_33

    I have been asked this by my ex many times. I have also seen it asked by friends’ wives. In the case of my ex, there was never a safe out. With my friends’ ladies, however, it was the fat that made them look fat.

    Also, the bitchiness.

    • Britt

      LOL. Such an awkward question to ask. It’s like, deep down the female has to know the truth. She’s just looking for compliments. At least that’s how I think our mind works.

    • David

      That was my first thought too. It’s not the dress making you look fat, it’s the fat making you look fat!

  • Jason Ericson

    Never heard this question, although I did once hang out with a girl I liked while she talked about every girl that walked by and how pretty they were. That was greeeat.

    I’m pretty sure if a girl DID ask me this I would just say “Yep!” and leave it. That’s what they get.

    • Britt

      HA! That’s what I would do too if I were a dude. LOL. Could you ever imagine a dude asking his girl if he looked fat in something? lololol

  • Nate Welch

    I had an ex who would ask me this ALL the time. I usually resorted to the old Jurassic Park defense of: “her vision is based on movement…no sudden moves and you’ll be fine!”

    • Britt

      HAHAHA!! That’s probably the best I’ve heard!

  • Gigawatt

    “Does that dress make me look fat?”

    “Look, a BOGO sale!” *run*

    Works every time.

    • Britt

      XD

  • Weebo

    I hide under a blanket making spaceship noises until the crying stops.

    • Britt

      Hmmm. You know, that might be a good idea in general. If something stupid is happening, hide under a blanket. Can I make Normandy noises?

      • Weebo

        It might get awkward… I don’t think there were any spaceships at Normandy. We could compromise and hum the theme from Zelda instead. Yeah?

  • Rach

    I ask my husband a specific question if I am not sure how something is looking, like does this outfit look ok (when trying new stuff together), or if I am worried about how something is sitting, again the question is very specific, does this sit ok over my tummy?
    He is really good and give me a truthful answer because I am asking an actual question not just looking for compliments.
    Note that I am mostly a jeans and t-shirt girl, so get a bit nervous when dressing up without girls around to ask.

    • Britt

      Aw, that’s cute. I just think it’s funny when it’s one of those “YOU BETTER TELL ME I LOOK HAWT LIKE A MO’FO OR ELSE IMMA BE PIIIISSSSED” situations! 🙂

  • David

    if we lie, we get in trouble. If we tell the hard truth, we get in trouble. Running makes more sense! 😉

  • Pippa

    I’m the same as Rach. My boyfriend is often better at picking out what I’d look good in than I am (he’s straight, I swear) so always gives me an honest answer because he knows it would be better for him to say I look bad in something than for everyone else to think it. I’m also of the ‘jeans and t-shirt’ club so feel rather paranoid when I have to wear a dress or fancy top.

    That cartoon is hilarious though!

  • i like! my sister always asks people that. she is rail thin and the answer that she is looking for is yes. she says people aren’t her real friends if that is not the answer that they provide